Oblivion in Recession

The legs started going,

Kept awake with water,


Arrogantly telling myself

I’d stay straight.

Drank gin and wine,

Went out,

Tried to buy more,


Filthy white shorts,

Lost, rolling on lawn,

Somehow got home.

Monday, waiting for offie,

Looked like death,

Fear in eyes

Of passers-by,

Waiting for drink,

Drink relieved me.

Drank all day,

Next day,

Double brandy

Just about settled me,

Drank some more,

Thought constantly

I’d collapse;

Then what?

Fit? Coronary?

Insanity? Worse?

Took a Heminevrin,

Paced the house

All night,

Weak legs,

Lack of feeling

In extremities,

Drank water

To keep the

Life functions going,

Played devotional music,

Dedicated my life

To God,

Prayed constantly,

Renounced evil.

Next day,

Two Valiums

Helped me sleep.

By eve,

I started to feel better.

I made my choice,

And oblivion has receded,

And shall disappear.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

'Oblivion in Recession' first existed as a series of rough notes scrawled on a piece of scrap paper in January 1993, relating to incidents that had only very recently taken place. The piece was subject to some minor edits in late summer 2018, and I have no reason to doubt its veracity as it now stands. January 1993 (Image).

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