PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

I woke up two days ago

God was breathing the breath of life into me

Since then, I've been eating and naming fruit,

and dealing with the diarrhoea



This God fella seems to know what I'm thinking

I have to admit, that creeps me out, a little

I was just THINKING....

how paradise was missing something

when he knocks me out and I wake up to THIS!!



This creature has INTERESTING lobes on its chest

I'm on my knees, in front of......HER!!.....

I am touching these orbs, in wonder.

"SO, tell me", I say

"Don't I KNOW you, from somewhere?"



The creature looks disgusted and, rolls her eyes

I try again........"Do you come here, OFTEN?"

Two for two and going down in flames.....

"You're the most beautiful thing, I have EVER met"



BINGO!!



The wo..MAN smiles, from ear to ear

Since I haven't MET another creature....

this seems like the dumbest line, of all, to me

VANITY seems to be this creature's weak spot!!



I get the notion, this woman would like flowers

I run over by the pond and pick a red one

I hand it to her, naming it...STINK WEED!!

She doesn't like that and names it....ROSE



I still don’t know her name, but she sure is a babe!

We agree that she names all the flowers

I'll name all the critters, scurrying about

The ‘babe’ walks over to take a dip in the pond



Something about the way her behind is swaying,

gives me this strange feeling I can't identify

"ADAM"!! that voice booms from above

"EAT NOT FROM THE TREE OF KNOWLEDGE!!"



"I WISH you wouldn't DO that, God" I squeak

"I just pissed all over myself"!!

Then, I see this tree by the pond start to GLOW

"I take it, that is the forbidden fruit tree, eh?"



"ALL OTHERS,YOU MAY EAT FRUIT, THEREOF......

TASTE NOT THE FRUIT OF GOOD AND EVIL"!!



Just then, this long, stick like thing slithers past me..

It gives me a dirty look, on its way to the pond

Eve is just coming out of the water....

I swear... she starts TALKING with this... THING!!



*     *     *



So... here I am in “paradise”



I must admit, it does look kinda neat

With all the pretty flowers

And ponds and such



But my ONLY companion is this Adam

A “man” apparently made from DIRT

An oaf who’s covered in sticky fruit drool

Has an acute diarrhoea problem

Doesn’t possess a sensitive bone

In his body (must have been the rib that God removed eh?)

And is trying to lure me into the sack

Without even knowing my name! (do I even have one?)



So this is man... sure glad I’m a WO...man!



And to top it of

We’ve been banned

By the big boss himself

From having any other fun

Like eating from the forbidden

“Tree Of Knowledge”



Condemned to remain

Ignorant

For all of eternity



This is... “paradise”?



I guess Adam aint so bad

He’s kinda cute when he calls me beautiful

And I sure do love the attention

But something is just missing

I am so darned bored!



I decide to go for a swim

And from the corner of my eye

I see Adam pissing all over himself

For some unknown reason



This... for eternity... *sigh*



Just then this serpent creature

Approaches me with a wry smile



“So... bit bored are ya honey?” he winks...

“Umm, yeah... I mean,

there’s just got to be more

to “paradise” than this!” I reply.

“Well have I got news for you baby!”

His beady little snake eyes light up



“See that glowing tree over there,

right next to the Hormonus Replacementus tree?”

He points with the end of his tail

“Eat the fruit from this tree

and your days of boredom

will be over forever!”



“Are you sure?” I am a little wary

Of this slimey creature

“God said I’d die

if I even just touched it!”



“Narrrr...” he growled.

“He’s just worried that

you’ll become smarter

than your oaf-mate

and hence rule the world!”



What... you don’t think I already am?

What the heck then... can’t get any worse than this... right?



So I eat the fruit from this tree

And in a fit of compassion

I decide to give some to Adam



Sure it would have been fun to rule

Over his dumb ass for the rest of eternity

But on second thought, I choose

To spend it with an equal

Somebody who understands me



We both bite a big chunk from the apple

And BAM! We’re self-conscious!

We suddenly realise we’re NAKED!



Adam, who now seems considerably more intelligent,

Rushes off to find some fig leaves

To cover our “private” bits

(Well, they’re “private” NOW!)



The sky thunders and roars...

I get the feeling the big boss

Aint all that happy...



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© BoarLen Productions 2004