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Back To You Later?
So the hard shell that most of the world sees in me is often just a front.
Throughout several years I have mastered suppressing true emotions, because that is what most of the world wants.
Seemingly no one wants to see the times I acknowledge my human pain.
They would rather turn the channel then come back when I am ready to fake the fun again.
In their opinion; showing emotions makes me appear weak; not at all a sexy commodity, which they equate as boring.
At times I get tired of masking my true feelings then start intentionally pissing off critics by expressing myself; not dignifying ignorance that I am ignoring.
Public support has never made nor broken me; regardless of what others think I am also entitled to have my share of good and bad days.
That being said; tonight I am not ashamed to admit that I am not mentally doing too well.
I tried to suppress the hurt I am internally feeling but GOD instructed me to let it be known; in order to propel.
I am mourning her right now even though she is still alive because I know my time with her is extremely limited.
I don't want to upset her by being upset in her presence grieving; but I would be a fool for assuming she will still be here tomorrow; that is just deceiving.
Lord, I ask you to be gentle with her during these precious final days.
Please give me strength to deal with this reality and cherish the unselfish memories she blessed us with as she comes back to your heavenly arms and stays.
This is one of the most difficult goodbyes; so I won't say it, instead dear lord can I ask you for a huge favor?
Will you promise me; that given that I live the rest of my life right that you will reunite me with her when it is my turn to come back to you later?
By Bryant Mosley
