The day when (my angel went away)

I'm lookin' for an angel,

an angel I thought once,

I had found.  

I look everywhere, and no,

nothing do I find.

Every time I look,

never finding what I seek,

I have to fight this urge,

that keeps gettin' stronger,

to not burn this whole fucking world,

to the ground.  

I'm lookin' for an angel,

an angel I thought once,

I had found.  

The sun always shines on her,

even when the skies,

are only cloud.

I'd love to give her,

a love to make the angels cry,

but a soul so tainted,

a heart so abused,

can only be something,

by which to be amused.

With my darkness and her light,

we'd be that full moon in the sky,

and we'll burn the world,

we'd shine so bright.

My mind's a slippin',

and I'm losing my hope,

every one that I seem to find,

is just another cruel joke,

if life doesn't stop its fucking,

I'll start giving it right back,

until I'm all used up,

until I get used up and broke.

I'm lookin' for an angel,

an angel I thought once,

I had found.  

Some angels learn too late,

to be all they can,

some of them never really know,

just all they can do.

I can't stop the screamin',

this screamin', inside my head,

scratching its claws, through this soul,

already far too riddled,

with decay and the marks of all,

this fucking world's, little people,

who keep drilling their fucking holes.

I found me an angel,

and she wouldn't accept the job,

wasn't ready, to accept,

all the responsibilities,

so she walked away, yeah,

just walked away,

and dropped me to my knees.

I could have cried,

tears such a beautiful red,

the last hopes of a heart dying,

just moments from dead.

I used up my last bits of hope,

feeding those who never wanted,

that which, so lovingly,

with smiling eyes,

filled with sweet little,

poisonous lies,

what they claimed they did.

Trembling lips, heartfelt admissions,

emotion filled with such truth,

become inconvenient, when our eyes,

see a different truth,

and our lips find their lies,

to make it our new reality.

I swallowed, every bit,

of your candied sin, I believed,

every bit, of your sweet bullshit,

falling from such sweet lips,

I wanted more to feed,

this vacuum hole,

where once, inside,

I had a soul.

Now I'm just a whore,

looking to fill,

all the empty spaces,

since I'm forgetting,

and have mostly forgotten,

what once went where.

I once needed to find my angel,

for I was afraid of the great below,

I needed her help, to find,

the shattered little bits,

life threw into the winds,

so I could scrape together,

this mind.

I'll take what you have to give,

I'll take your love, or your hand,

I'll be your drug, your sweet addiction,

I'll get inside you, closer than blood.

You've all used me, until you had enough,

my heart shriveled up, all used up,

and turned to dust.

I'll make you love me, until I use you up,

you'll crave me, like the air you breathe,

you'll need me to live, you'll need everything,

yes, your everything, you'll need from me.

I'll be your god, and your angel,

I'll be your fallen one, so far from grace,

who burns so bright, a comet streaking across,

a moonless night, I'll be all you,

ever thought you'd need, I'll be the love,

that makes your soul bleed.

Then comes the day, when your use has ended,

and I just turn away, yeah,

just walk away, so I can hear,

you screaming on your knees,

just for me.

I'll walk away, like you don't exist,

while you tear at your hair,

while you keep on screaming,


Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is a rather dark piece about losing faith in happy endings and beautiful things.

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