Angel's Tears

I'm trapped in this mind,

so badly wanting to get free.



Time and life take place around me,

my wings fight to lift me up,

to carry me so far away,

but the pain buckles my legs,

I fall to the ground.



The fear and uncertainty grips me again,

knifing those claws through my soul.



I struggle to push the fear away,

as I try so hard to hold my sanity close,

keep it from being swept from me.



I try as hard as I'm able,

I resist the pull of that hole,

the hole that seems to daily grow,

but no matter what, I can never make it go.



I hope and exist, watching these days slip past,

falling further behind and wondering, always wondering,

why I still try.



Everyday feels the same, always somehere,

I breathe in this pain.



I could never cry out all the hurt inside me,

I use everything I've learned,

from the days spent suffering,

to help others I know change for the better.



I've been an angel of compassion time and again,

loving those that need it, helping them love themselves.



So many people never know a selfless friend,

never find love without strings,

I've bared parts of my soul to these special people,

these people somehow I've come across.



This angel's wings have carried their strains,

I've loved them all despite the pains.



All the while I hope, one of them will be,

there for me too.  It's hard hoping for so long,

wishing someone's tears,

could cleanse this soul of all it's stains.



This heart can only give so much,

but it's hard to control the giving,

when someone needs the understanding I've earned.

The compassion I've bled to have.



True happiness seems a distant memory,

the time fast approaches, when it may be forgotten,

as almost daily, another strain is placed upon my back.



I want so badly to be strong,

for those that need me.

To surpass their expectations.



I can feel my legs beginning to tremble,

it happens more often these days,

growing harder to ignore.



If the time comes, and I collapse again to the floor,

I don't know if alone, I'll have to strength to continue,

going on to bear more.  I'm hoping, I'll find that person,

who can help me be healed.



My knees are getting so sore,

crawling across this broken ground,

I'm hoping, in my future,

there will be an angel for me,

to be found.

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