Practical Joke.

Bern's Prose.

Practical Joke.


The announcements in the local papers were big and flashy. A new attraction was being built on the old fair grounds. A new space ship that was claimed to be so real that one actually thought that they were really travelling through space. The windows were actually screens at the back of each screen were film projectors that showed scenes of space. The trip would be a one pound Stirling. It was praised as being better than a school lesson. The great day arrived and people flocked to see this new amusement. Passenger after passenger paid their one pound and entered the space ship. Over the loud speaker system people were asked to put on the seat belt and make sure that it was kept on right through the voyage. A low humming noise was heard then a solid jerk and the sensation of riding high, this was actually emphasised by the screens that were supposed to be windows. The effectwas so good that one or two of the passengers actually were sick into the plastic bags that were discreetly placed before each seat. The Moon came into view getting larger and larger. The space ship swept around the moon and took course to the planet mars. The room marked with the words Private, Pilots cabin and cockpit, no passengers allowed inside of this room. The door to this room opened and a man dressed in a space suit came and sat down with the passengers. The Pilot laughed and asked quite openly if all had made their last will and testament. This simple question caused panic to break out among the passengers.

Under some heavy threats the so called Pilot told all that this was no mock up of a Fair ground space ship it was the real thing. He was told that all he had to do was to push the switch named start and the whole ship would act like a real space ship. He was told about the Projectors behind the windows of the ship. He told the passengers that he could and would try landing this space ship but all were to remain cool and calm. There was to be no panic. No leaving the seats until the pilots told them that the ship had landed safely. Having said this he went back into the room he had come out of and we heard him lock the door. The space ship turned slowly around and we got the feeling that that we were approaching the ground. A bump or two and the ship stopped. The door of the Pilots cabin slowly opened and with a smile of relief on his face he announced that he had landed the ship on the Earth. Not alas in the old fairground but somewhere if his guess was right in the middle of the Sahara Desert somewhere in Africa. We had drinks on board and no one was to leave the space ship all were to remain near the space ship. The Pilot had managed to send over the radio near enough our position it was just a matter of time before we were found. The passengers gave the pilot three loud cheers and all wanted to shake his hand. I myself thanked him and went back to my seat where I promptly fell asleep. The next time that I awoke I was lying in bed in one of London’s Famous hospitals. I was over a month getting over the stress and strain of what should have been a pleasure trip in a mock up model of a space ship. My lawyers claimed damages for me of ten thousand pounds plus the hospital costs. It proved to be an expensive joke on the part of the owner of the mock up space ship. Strangely I have no more ambitions to become a pilot of a space ship. Another stay in or near to a desert was not m idea of fun. Your scribbler, Bern.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

For my Indomate and family have fun with this scribble with best wishes from martha and Bernard.

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