Mothers pride.

Mothers pride.

Part one.

"He never sees the light of day

Or ever cuts the grass,

He lies in bed all day

Or just sits on his fat arse."

"The toilet seat is never down

He misses the damn bowl,

Is up for half the night

On that bloody games console."

"He says" "This is my holiday"

"As he awaits results,

But I am sick fed up

Of all that boys insults."

"You will have to have a word

He is your son as well,

Tell him please to wash

The little bugger smells."

"There are dirty plates to many

And cans beneath his bed,

The room is just a tip

And he thinks the Hoovers dead."

"I am fed up with his laundry

My handle has just flew

You should count the T-shirts

The little git goes through."

"He never eats his tea

No matter what I cook

And if I tell him off

He just gives that strange look."

"Enough it is enough

It is no longer funny

He thinks we have a tree

That provides us all with money."

"It is time he got a job

Just like all his buddies,

Instead of spouting Bull

He needs this time to study."

Part two.

My results they all are in

And I have done quite well,

Mothers on the phone right now

She has everyone to tell.

So it is that my hard work

Has got me into collage

I"ll soon be on my way

To gather up more knowledge.

For I am Glasgow bound

I leave home in September,

I really cannot wait

To become a student union member.

All the family they all know

So do all our friends

My hard work really was worthwhile

A means towards my end

Part three.

We sit alone together  

A silence both agree,

Then Mother starts to cry

Claims she will miss me.

No more toothpaste top left off

Wet towels upon the floor

The naughty calendar

The one I just adore

Pinching Fathers beer

The windows always closed  

Soft porn on the door

With all that flesh exposed.

Never making beds

And all those dirty books

Spending all that money

To enhance my macho looks.

Never doing chores

And all my moans and groans

Always wanting money

For top ups for my phone.

Then how proud she is

Of her boy who"s  now a man

And she is so convinced

I have a five year plan.

My stomach does a turn

My balls are in a press

My throat is kinda dry

I"m in a full distress.

The penny it has dropped

Dropped right in my cup,

This boy has joined the ranks

Of those who must grow up!

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