Fill-in-the-Blank Poetry Bandwagon

If I were black, then I could

probably join some Afro poetry

bandwagon, wearing some traditional

African costume, celebrating

my warrior spirit and my exuberant

sexuality that my big butt mama

gave me, speaking my powerful

masculine words to the sound

of the drum beats,

Or I could be some spoken word cool cat,

writing urban verses about gang bangs

and my homies in the ghetto,

But I'm just a heterosexual white male,

who is not too physical

and reserved when it comes to sex--

No, I could never join some Afro poetry

bandwagon, for I'm too uptight and

too white for that.

If I were a woman, then I could join

some goddess poetry bandwagon,

where I could celebrate my uterus

and ovaries and talk about joys

of motherhood and birth pains

and PMS, and how all men are pigs

and rapists and abusers, and I could

talk about my plight and the plight

of my sisters,

But I'm just a heterosexual white male

and I'd sound ridiculous celebrating

my penis or my balls,

and I'm too insecure about my penis size


Perhaps if I were gay, then I could join

some gay and lesbian poetry bandwagon

and sympathize with my bisexual

and transgender brothers and sisters

and shout proudly about taking it

in my mouth or from behind,

But I'm just a heterosexual white male,

masturbating on weekends without a date,

Perhaps if I turned my life to Jesus,

then I could join some Jesus poetry bandwagon,

proclaiming freedom from sin

and the power of the Lord,

and the promise of the eternal life,

But I'm just an atheist, and I have nothing

to prove or disprove to anyone,

and I could never join

some metaphysical poetry bandwagon,

for bullshit has never been my forte.

For I'm just a heterosexual white male,

transplanted into this foreign universe,

where people group together according

to their beliefs and convictions,

their crosses and their flags,

their allegiance to some

higher authority,

But I just carry myself like

some rude awakening

to anyone who'd like me to join

their camaraderie of insincere assholes,

For I'm like a hemorrhoid in their ass

reminding them of the reality

that I'm not like them,

nor do I want to be.

                     November 18, 2006


View ashaumyan's Full Portfolio