I feel worse than when I went there. I just want to end it all but I can't. I hold the knife over my heart and it just hovers there. My life is going to peices, my home is cold and empty. I can't seem to stop the cycle of pain that I feel. My mind is clearer though, I no longer am seeing things that I know of. My mind is not the problem, for where does fantasy start in the head or in the heart.

A little nonsence now and then is relished by the wisest men ... but I am nothing but nonsensical mutterings and half formed thoughts. I do not know what anyone sees in me short of a cherity case. All I do is generate problems and strife now adays, if I just vanished would the world even bat an eye? Maybe it would be for the better with all the worth I have ...

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