Why do I do it?

Why do i do it ... why do I lie about my mood and how I'm feeling. I say that I am fine when it's the furthest from the truth. I say it doesn't matter when it's really important to me. I say I do not care when it's really all that's on my mind.

This pain is nothing new, this silent misery that i share with no one. This aching heart that I hold still beating in my hand as the white knight talks backwards and I wish I could go through the looking glass to that other world where things must be better for me than here.

I wish everyone would just leave me alone and read between the lines of what I say ... but no one will call me on it, why would they ... it's nothing ... i'm fine ... yeah right ...

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