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Three more days of this.

That’s all I’m giving myself.

Three days and I have to let go.

                I have to let go of everything you gave me.

                The love, the care, the way your eyes crinkle when you smile at me.

                I told myself I wouldn’t let it hurt this bad.

Two more days.

This is getting desperate.

Two days and I have to give you up.

                I have to let go of you.

                The fear, the anger, the way your voice hardens when I mess up.

                I told myself I wouldn’t let it get to this.

One more day.

This is terrifying.

One day and I have to free myself.

                I have to do this.

                The bruises, the blood, the way my family looked when I said I fell again.

                I told myself I would never let you hurt me.

Todays the day.

This is happening.

I have to tell you.

                I feel myself start to panic when I see you.

                The clinched fist, the white knuckles, the way your fist feels connecting to my jaw.

                I tell myself this is the last time.