I cant even hate you

Sometimes nostalga numbs 

You suffercate your depression

With all sorts of bad intentions 

I never learn my lesson 

I just set my satisfaction ablaze 

It leaves me in a chilling daze 

I just want to forget some of these days 


In all honesty I didnt mean it

Oh i should of seen it. 

I fell to my knees 

I reached for any substance 

You know i was reluctant 

But did it anyways 


The color in my eyes 

Changed as i realized 

I was acting so naive. 

But why sit here 

And pretend like its possible 

To forget your name. 


But underneath it all...


I drink till im drunk 

I smoke to till I choke 

Becuase I cant even hate you

But I still fucking hate you 

For not being with me. 


Whats left to say? Fuck it. 

Its over and done with. 

My  hearts bruises will soonly fade. 

Remember I told you. 

I regret ever telling you. 

Its easier this way. 


But underneath it all... 


I abuse and use 

To kill my false hope 

Becuase I cant even hate you 

But I swear I fucking hate you

For not being with me. 


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