love for your captor

So I if Iive with the mindset everything is subject to change constantly ready to miagrate and have my location change. Allowing anything to be possible. Leaving myself that door of opportunity open.  Yet if it's steadily not moving along at a satisfactory pace and unfortunately I see I'm still In the same place do I focus on being more patient or bite the bullet and take the first opportunity that comes regardless if it's what I enjoy or not? I have a few options on ways to better myself. But it will require me to suppress who I am. Faith is powerful, yet it's always incredibly hard to anticipate. I guess I'm at a loss on how to move away from this small town. I'm trying to find myself back towards the city. Some days it gets rough and I loose hope. I guess I don't understand my path yet, and why it took such a drastic turn. My life plays out like this unpredictable journey where plans and visions change constantly as walls and people are always moving rearranging and disappearing. Finding a place of my own has been such a long road of strange life lessons I never knew I needed experience all the strange illegible scenarios I live through I may never understand. If my intentions are good my road Will lead me straight through hell. Yet if I cheated I'll find a less rewarding unchallenging road. Temptation can create impulse actions. Some times confusion can twist up everything you know and make you challenge all of your beliefs. Remaining intact and sturdy through the ups and downs takes much mental strength. Trying to be a beacon of inspiration, motivation, and hope to others who may need it. So i bared many crosses just to show my scars so others know I been there. It's quite a spiriling spiritual journey. Full of self deprivation and isolation. The longer you go without the stronger you become. I wonder if love will ever be rewarded to someone who finds self love in the struggle. Or if in the end they fall in love with the struggle. Like the prisoner who finds soltitude love and guidance in his captor. Life gets extremely complex underneath the curtain of simplicity. I wonder if love was felt before it was defined. Or if the thought of love and it's meaning actually put it into existence.  Either way life is unexplainable. Enjoy what you have while aliviating the stress in whatever coping methods suite best.  

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