the spirit

Holidays have never been easy coming from a divorced and separated family. Spent most of my younger years feeling torn having two completely different house holds with two completely different customs and morals ever since I could remember. I never was one to listen for my parents contradicted each other. Having 2 parents that both remarry and all want to play an authority role in your life. Each action you make has 4 separate outcomes. Each questions you have. has 4 different answers. I guess I spent most of my life confused. Well I did some living for myself the past few years, I may not have the the good fortune of financial success. Yet, I still wake up and force a smile upon my face. Some days its real and doesn't take work to put myself in that positive mindset. Other days it can be a struggle. I am grateful for what I have experienced so far in life. You got to take the good with the bad. Their wouldn’t be pleasure without pain. I made my living as an outlaw. Not getting attached to any place or person. Since life likes to keep me moving. I still do my best to show kindness to most people. For some nights the feeling in your heart and what emotions you give off is all you have. I have gotten good at keeping a steady pace in times of unsteadiness. Unsure where that strength will come in handy yet. but I know its a strong trait. I am not one to be mentally broken. I decided I don’t want anything for Christmas this year. I won't accept any toys or gifts. I want everyone else to get what they want and experience pure happiness. In order to keep sustainable balance ones must deprive themselves of their personal desires. I will do so if it allows the entire world to experience a moment of happiness. Even if that moment just lasts one second. It will be worth 1000 life times.

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