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Teenagers in Love.
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Short Stories Shawna looks to me with wonder and a million questions in her eyes. She is trying to make sure I am still her best friend. The one she's known since 3rd grade. The one she told her secrets too. I am still her best friend. I am not the same person she's known. I stare back at her. We have nothing to say, nothing to laugh about, but still everything in the same. We just look into each others eyes with a wisdom about each other no other 2 people in the world could share.
Shawna's boyfriend Mike is a sweetheart, but all Shawna ever does is complain about him. She loves him, and he loves her, but they are so close they pick at each other to no end. I am scared for her. Sometimes I worry she couldn't get along without him.
I feel as though I am floating, above the world. Watching myself; watching my friends. I see the people I once called friends slipping deeper into the world, and there is nothing I can do to help them. They do not want my help. They want to bring me with them, if anything. I wont let them though. I cant, Im too scared. Girls forgetting that theres people around, while stripping in the backseats of their boyfriends' cars after school. Boys with acne running from boys with muscles. Girls with glasses hiding from girls with nothing to show but skin. Silly boys making all the girls laugh, and big girls who everyone is friends with but nobody loves.
Then there's me, in the middle, hiding from them all. Laughing at the jokes I don't find funny and being disgusted at boys I know are actually really nice, but I couldn't care less. Am I a fake? No. Am I real? No. I am glad I found myself a boyfriend like Steve. He gets me. I know everyone says that, but truly he does. He understands my need to belong, and my need to be independent. He calls me beautiful while I rant about my lack of talent and inspiration.
Steve feeds me fruit snacks and we stare into space. I am wondering just what life has in store for me. Wonder what possible reason I could have for being here. He is wondering what I am wondering about. I think about why I am me, why Steve and I ended up together, and why Shawna and I have nothing but everything to talk about. It would be wonderful to be less confused. Maybe to be a kid again. I remember when falling down was a problem because we might get hurt. Not like now. Now it's a problem because someone might see me in a moment of vulnerability. That scares me more than bleeding a little.
Shawna is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. She isnt what you would call gorgeous like a model, but she doesnt look as though shes been run over by a truck. I feel that way somedays. People tell me not to, that I am a beautiful girl. I know theyre lying, but its nice to hear it every once in a while. Mike is always telling me that what he loves most about Shawna is her ability to laugh at herself. What makes Shawna so attractive is her personality. She bubbles into everyone in that annoyingly persistent but cant get enough of it kind of way. I am so jealous of her.
I asked Steve the other day what he liked best about me. He replied easily, 'your dorkiness'. "Yeah, you too", I laughed as Steve scrunched up his face and kissed me lightly on the nose. There is nothing I love more than Steve's kisses. He calls me beautiful when Im lying in bed next to him in dire need of a shower but too in love to move. We laugh at each other when we feed each other day old smoothies. We drip them on the sheets because we can't keep our hands off of each other for more than a minute. Steve and I are still at a point where we still fel virginal, exploring each others bodies. We're still wondering where life is leading us, but right now our only thought is the best way to get the stickyness off our skin.
Im not so worried about being vulnerable anymore. Shawna and I finally have something to say to each other. We know long as we have Steve and Mike we'll be okay. But, what do we know? We're just teenagers in love.
