A Letter

Note: I may be dumb, but I express it beautifully in a way that some people would just write a three sentence letter.  Indeed, i am writing for than that crap.

To all:

Here I am, called in sick to work.  The boss lady knows I'm lying.  I lay in my bed thinking... this is it.  I've never felt this alone before.  Everyone goes to work and everyone goes to school.  Everyone goes on with their lives.  That's what we did when my Dad died.  They'll do the same with me.  I know some people may be upset, but hey... at least I waved a white flag in their face.  No one doesn't know what's going on, yet that's my fault.  No communication, he said.  Guess my baby was right.  I don't know how to talk to people nor how to express to them what I really feel.  Even though it may be crazy.  My sanity has kicked me in the ass, and yet I can't feel that kick.  Either I don't succeed and come out maybe numb, or I succeed and go wherever I need to go.  I'm not going to apologize.  I've done enough apologizing.  Just to her and him.  They were always there for me.  Even though they didn't know.  They were my heart, my soul, my everything.  To leave them is to die.  And that's what I'll do.  Fuck this world and fuck this war.  We're all fucking mad here and we're trying to prove to each other that we're perfectly fine.  Heh.  If that were the case, we'd be living in a fucking Alice in Wonderland fantasy.  If you're friends with someone, know what the fuck is going on.  I mean, "really" know.  And ask, don't forget to ask.  Cause if you don't ask, you truly suck.  Just kidding.  You don't suck.  Just pay more attention sweets.  Guys be good to the girls man.  We have feelings and those feelings get crushed and we get all crazy and rational.  Ahhh...you were always the best, but you need to get an apartment of your own.  haha  Babies... man I really wanted to have them.  Drinking...drugs... do 'em if you want.  its your body, your mind, your everything.  Fighting... don't recommend it.  If it's a must, go for it.  If you're bored, you're wasting precious time that could be used for something else.  Sigh...  What can I say guys?  I'm a liar and a chicken shit.  So sue me.  I'll haunt you in your dreams.. just kidding.  I'll be there when shit is bad and there's no one there... cause believe me, that time for me is here.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Don't listen to this dumb bitch.  She's just whining again.

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