I don’t know what I want

I don’t know what I need

I don’t know what to do or where to go

I don’t know what I want to do

I just have an

"I don't care what what’s going to happen to me now? Attitude"

I don't show an interest in things now

I just don't really care what happens now

If and when I do seem to care

It’ll be all too late

I should have learned then…

I should just stop pretending

When I should have just gone out and proven myself wrong

I’ll be able to gain back all I used to have and

All I used to deeply value

Before there's no hope left for me at all

I’ll start to care

When it's too late

This is all leading me to my downfall

Make me believe

That there’s still hope left for me out there

Convince me, that

I have a will to be living now

Prove to me

That I can truly be doing

What I’ve always wanted to do my whole life

For the rest of my life

Make me believe

That my life has a meaning

That I have a purpose for living today

Persuade me

That if I don’t ever start to change now

I’ll deeply regret it later on in life

Just simply, make me believe

That if I just stopped pretending

That if I’d just gone out with optimism

I can just do all that I’ve been talking about

Tell me, simply

Does it take myself only for me to change?

I want to try to change

But, I guess I haven’t learned much from

The deep felt sorrow throughout my lifetime

What I’ve learned from all this

Is that I’ll always be a complete and total idiot

Throughout my whole life

I haven’t learned enough from these experiences

I’ve learned a lot

But, not yet enough

For me to make myself believe

That if I can just be more optimistic and less pessimistic

I can just choose to believe

That all along,

I don’t have a ZERO confidence

A poor self-esteem

Low expectations of myself

That if just simply tried and have more confidence

In myself

In everything that I do and say and

Everything else that life has to offer

I wouldn’t be so low of myself and everything

If all these heartfelt sorrows

I’ve been through, throughout life

Hadn’t been enough for me to live and learn

To simply just believe in myself and try harder in everything

Then, after all

I guess that simply just wasn’t enough for me to learn my lessons

Now, I think to myself all the time

“What will be enough for me to just simply do all that?”

I’ve learned but that just wasn’t enough

To make me to believe

Things will go the way as I’ve wanted to

If I just simply tried harder and start believing more

I can do just that

This is a challenge I must overcome someday

All this should just make me have more confidence

Strive towards excellence

Do the best that I can at everything

Not give up so easily and

Make me believe things will just be alright if I just tried

If I just asked for some help when I needed it

Then, I wouldn’t be so low of myself then

After all, who says I was a good person?

People tell me I’m a good person and such

What they don’t know about me is what I think of myself and

All these other things

I still haven’t learned yet

But, I know it’s bad if I just keep to myself and

Bottle up my feelings inside of me from others

I know I shouldn’t hide from others

All I need is a boost of confidence

I need someone to reassure me its okay to be happy

I need a guide to guide me through those heartfelt sorrows

I need a friend to reassure me everything will be okay

If I simply, just tried and believed more

Most importantly, I need reassurance

There must be something more to this

Than just fate and destiny

A coincidence or

Just fate telling me where to go from here

Author's Notes/Comments: 

this is a long song i wrote after i thouhgt long and hard of what i talked to my friend's how i've felt EVERYDAY FOR THIS WHOLE YEAR!

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