Fat
Clark Steven Lupton
2002
I may be fat
But I can swallow a cat
Can you do that?
I'm not a jock I'm not a hero
I look like the number zero
I do not run I do not diet
My stomach is hardly ever quiet
I can't help it I always fart
I even have a fatty heart
I'll eat it if it's salty, I'll eat it if it's sweet
And you bet I'll eat it if it tastes really neat
I do not have a girlfriend they say it's because I'm big
A girl does not want a boyfriend who looks like a pig
But I'm interesting I'm not a bore
It's just at night I always snore
I talk to girls I really try
But girls do not like a big fat guy
But it's okay when I spend
It's just that they only think of me as a friend
Because girls do not like guys who are unhealthy
The exception is if the guy is wealthy
But I let them go for the thinner guys
I don't care as long as I have my French fries
Life is harder when you're plump
It gets harder for the heart to pump
I used to be a gorgeous hunk
And then I started eating all that junk
In those days my stomach was flat
Now I have to get used to fat
I used to exercise and then I stopped
I stayed out late and bar hopped
I was no longer on the athletic teams
And my pants were bursting at the seams
I changed my pants, my belt and my shirts
Gaining all that weight really hurts
But being fat is a gift from above
It really means there's more of me to love
That is if you can hug my girth
Which is like a snake trying to hug the Earth
I like it. Dont we forget that men have feelings and self image issues too? I am fat, and yes i have the ol sense of humur. I like to laugh when people say "she's so funny" for me its my armor. :) i wonder, now that i am on a diet will i lose my funny too? Keep writing i enjoyed this one.
Haha! I loved this! It made me laugh! And I must say, it's hard for a poem to do that. I liked all the different rhyming styles. It worked so well since it was a silly poem. Awesome job!