When I didnt Forward the Chain Letter
Clark Steven Lupton
2002
It happened again without fail
I got another chain letter in my email
It's one of the Internet's latest trends
You got to forward it to 20 of your friends
If you do, your wishes will be complete
And bad luck will befall you if you delete
I didn't answer the letter right away
And so I had a lousy day
It started as I stepped out the door
There was a banana peel on the floor
I slipped on it and fell on my head
And spent the day in a hospital bed
I was rested and became inspired
But missed a meeting and I was fired
So I had no money and couldn't buy food
It made me cranky and I was rude
The day was humid and it was hot
So I shouted curses at a cop
He arrested me and locked me in jail
How I wished I answered the chain mail!
Sitting in a jail really sucks
Then I heard my friend won a million bucks
His life was getting better and better
All because he sent his chain letter
I got out of jail and asked my girlfriend to be my wife
She said, "Maybe in another life"
I went to mom's and she served me tough meat, fried
She said, "By the way, Doggie died"
"Mom I don't care, I was fired for missing a meeting"
"I just thought I'd tell you what you're eating"
I gagged and felt sick
And ran to the bathroom really quick
After that I went home
And got a call on the telephone
It was the bill collector and boy was he mad!
I had to pay my debts to him and he was my dad!
"Son, pay your debts to me today
I'm taking your mom out - it's her birthday"
"Dad, I can't I'm flat broke
And mom cooked Doggie which made me choke"
"Well son that's not my fault
She usually puts in too much salt.
Last night for dinner she served boiled mouse"
Just then a meteor crashed into my house
I survived just by a thread
"Anyway pay me tomorrow or else you're dead"
We hung up and I crawled out into the yard
Why was my life getting so hard?
I was outside and in so much pain
Just then it began to rain
All my wounds hurt and burned
"Send chain letters" was what I learned
Now that you've read this, this is what you should do:
Send this to twenty people and your wish will come true
This is serious, not just some fad
Send this to twenty people or your luck will turn bad
This isn't a waste of your time
This can actually be a sign
So what are you waiting for?
Do you also want to bang your head on the floor?
Wow...I like this poem. I detest chain letters with a passion, and I think we should forward your poem to those people who insist on stuffing our inboxes with chain letters. Hahaha. BTW, fried dog and boiled mouse for dinner? Eeeww.
*laughing histerically!* Oh my goodness! That was perhaps the best poem I've read, like, EVER!! It was so unpredictable, and made me want to keep reading from the first line! It even made me gasp out loud at the dog-dinner part. haha! Man, you find the greatest topics.
*laughing histerically!* Oh my goodness! That was perhaps the best poem I've read, like, EVER!! It was so unpredictable, and made me want to keep reading from the first line! It even made me gasp out loud at the dog-dinner part. haha! Man, you find the greatest topics.