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To tell you the truth

I’m sorry I walked away from you 

And I forgot your face and I forgot you name I forgot your love and I forgot your embrace 

You’re the only one who helped me feel like myself

Please help me feel myself

Because all I feel lately is numb 

And may be it’s all in my head, and in that case I feel dumb 

For caring so much and thinking so much for having so little but still giving a lot 

And lately it seems that I just like forgot who I was and what it’s like to feel happy 

And I took on the responsibility of everyone else 

And now I forgot about me. 

Like who the fuck is Aya and what does she need

To run full speed forward grasps something and may be even have a chance to succeed 

And if I do find Aya how do I even proceed 

In your company I didn’t have shame 

I didn’t cover up and I was living out my full name 

But ever since I walked away I feel lost, alone, and in pain

And the anxiety 

My love it suffocated me 

To the point that I can no longer see

The true reality standing and looking right at me 

Because anxiety it takes me over 

And I loose control 

And every little thing becomes so big and a little room caves deeper in and it all takes it it’s toll and before I can even figure out what I’m actually thinking feeling and believing 

I forget how to breathe and I start struggling breathing 

And it strikes me to my knee a as my heart is bleeding 

It feels like I’m fucking suffocating and dying 

And you were the only one who could rescue 

Out of that darkness 

And you were the only one who’s love and kindness 

Penetrated though my weakness and it gave me joy and it gave me strength 

To get back up one more time 

To fall again and to still try 

To live live with joy and truth 

As your purity stripped every lie 

And I would stand up and walk with my head held high. 

So I’m sorry that I walked away from you 

I miss how I was when I was with you I know you miss it to 

But it’s like I want to go back but I can’t face it, 

And it seems almost impossible to do to run back through every broken bridge and every dark cave I just ran away from

To have to relive and survive everything again so I could find my way back home 

And have to come undone 

But I gotta find me, it’s as simple as that 

It’s something we all one day have to do

I must go back and find you.......

I gotta back and find you