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It's really quite funny... In a way
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Ashes to Ashes I don't mean to be funny...
not entirely
You've gotten mad at me for...
changing a display name
writing on you with a marker
flicking your hair
and in the beginning for calling you cute...
That would all be well in good... but...
You've tried to break up with me for...
not knowing where I was
missing your family
making you "too" happy
and a couple of times for saying ...
I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you,
That also... would be all well can good... but...
There have been days... beautiful days...
well to me... when nothing could go wrong...
but somehow... to you, they always did...
I remember a first kiss at the airport, i remember the first cab ride, I remember the first smile, and pillow fight.
I remember our first date at a comedy club, our first weekend together... and.. I remember the week after...
I remember a Circus, countless flowers, and everything else under the sun that i did to try to have a smile on your face...
but it's never good enough...
Waiting four years was never good enough, then seeing each other once a month wasn't good enough, every month.. wasn't good enough... then seeing each other every day... that wasnt' good enough either...
Trying to buy a house near your family, you said wait... and i did... living with your family, you said, wait... and... I did.... then you came to me, and said... "I want to live with you" and once again... "You get what you want Princess"...
but... not good enough... I said you could visit every other month, or once a month... not good enough...
Like I said, I'm not trying to be funny
just a little...
because I laugh at myself all the time... Mr. "big and strong"
being so freakon sensitive... caring so freakon much... and being told "you don't care'... heh... freakon ... hilarious
I laugh at all I've ever tried to do, all my patience that I've shown, over all the problems, all the fights, all the insecurities, everything, always forgiving, always embracing, always.... loving... and I ask... to be loved back...
but... that's not enough....
You can sit right next to me, and read over my shoulder and one of two things is probably happening... you might be reading this and going "wow, is this how he feels" after i've told you these things over and over... or you might be reading this and going "same ole shit he always says"... and I wonder... because I'm told "Things will never change"
and I laugh... because I couldnt' have said it better myself
but the diffrence with me...is that... through all the fights
all the pointless arguments, all the fear, the pain,
through all of the issues you've had with commitment, and everything else... through it all, i've held your hand.
I've never left your side, never seriously considered it.
so I laugh... not to be funny, but to hide the pain...
When you can love someone with all your heart, and want the world for them, through all those years, it hurts to know, that through all this... you never really knew me...
