I wake up and think about when I had you next to me
I drive and think of when you wanted to come with.
I try to work, and remember the fun we had painting together.
I try to shed tears yet my eyes have no moisture left
So I choke from my tear ducts taking moisture from my throat.
I go through each day hoping to see you, wanting to hold you
Just wanting to talk, and longing for your touch again.
I need you in my life more than blood to flow through my heart.
You promised never to leave
Although from the start I knew you would.
I tried to part then, to avoid this pain again.
You stopped me and held me, and said you’d never go.
I said that I couldn’t believe that, since I had been so heartbroken before
You promised again, blocking the door
…and I believed you.
Swore up and down that you were there to Stay
Even signed it in blood, you would not go away
…and I believed you.
Yet where are you now, in my time of need?
Where are you now, as I sit here and bleed?
Have you ever really cared?...Will anyone, Can anyone truly care?
For another human being, as the way I have and still do.
I dined you and fed you the best that I could,
And wanted to buy you the life of your dreams.
But you wanted more than my life could give.
So you chose to leave me in search of one finer.
And now we don’t speak, nor even write words
Because of the choices to remain unheard.
Yet try as I might to show you my love,
I have no other option but accepting you leave.
You came to my life as an Angel to save.
Yet left me with a dagger still burning in my heart.
Sadness is a part of your existence,
Don’t you blame it,
Since it makes you realise,
The worth of happiness.
As laughter is nothing without cry,
You should embrace sadness,
In order to grow and be enlightened,
Hard to face it yet you should try.
Fire purifies gold and with flute the same is true,
Sadness will make your heart chaste and polished too.
On a day so cold and dreary
My heart weeps, sinks and grows weary
A heaviness as sentiments of despair lay upon my very soul
Burrowing and piercing through my heart
I question myself where of comes this melancholic sound
The hollow answers of emptiness and loneliness is all that can be found
I recapture my thought process losing my temper at my own frailty
As words of my macho education surge and flow through my blood
While my heart aches to be heard I convince myself that « Poetry is the uttering of overemotional baggage by senile old men »
Condeming myself for my helpless pondering « Fuck Poetry ! Poetry is dead. »
Though my soul might be scarred to its core
I sweep all the sadness away under a loud bravoure of manly oneliners
So, « let’s fuck some bitches and score some coke »
Since I rather have the screaming agony of a wounded soul drowned out by drugs and « ho’s »
Ever gotten that feeling where you wanted to die?
Felt like nothing was left of you
And all you want to do is cry?
Tired of the sorrows that reign in your heart too?
Thought about the blade in all of its silence
Or the water the remains perfectly still?
What happens when all you have is
But that leaves you anew
Do you restart
Or do you end it there?
What happens when all apologies have left your heart?
When the pain hurts so, you never want to forget?
Resolutions seem too far past
To reconcile our love that we thought would always last.
Maybe hope is to much too ask for
Even for the love that we once bore.
and close your eyes,
tomrrow will be another day.
of a beautiful dream,
of a place far far away.
into the the new morn'
life is a blessing, that many unappericate.
and be strong,
because no one can control your heart.
and keep going on,
because life is too short.
life is a gift,
a treasure from Above.
down you go
this contaminated pool
and soaring through
a cloud of naivity
or perhaps indifference.
you will see
once i too stop trying.
deliberate or not
whether it is something that you thought
or haven't yet caught
or lack thereof
shatter my heart.
Ambushed by my own mind today
Karma confines me hell to pay
Poetry is my only remedy
Save me God from this intellectual death penalty
How did I ever land in this situation?
All I want is some sort of salvation
A hopeless condition, negativity repetition
I call it happiness prohibition
So tell me when you wanna go
To the sunny days, all I see is snow
The days are cold, I need a breakthrough
I need out of the blue
Experience is my teacher, no rest for the weary
It’s been too long, a smile feels eerie
They tell me have faith, storms don’t last forever
Hope it comes soon, I’m sick of this endeavor, my negatives thoughts are o so clever
Grey skies match the feeling behind my melancholy eyes,
reflecting the soul of someone who has never been whole,
craving to be what others desire and longing for someone to admire,
I drown in an ocean filled with pain and sink deeper into the abyss I have made,
Swimming to the top to get some air, I'm always one stroke away but never there,
Hoping, praying for the end to come; God just laughs and bites his thumb,
I begin to think how the abyss is much like me; lonely, dark, and with no company,
Turning from the surface I begin to fade and sink down into the abyss I have made.
September 11, 2013
To cast away the darkest thought,
just turn your sights upon the sky,
embrace it's beauty- love for aught,
which stands against the test of time.
Just keep your head above the clouds,
and bounded not by earth's restraint,
your shame is naught my love -feel proud,
and hold on till another day.
However sad that you may feel,
will pass in time as all things do,
but if they don't lets make a deal,
to keep on giving life a chance.
And in return I'll see to that,
your next tears shall be tears of joy,
so lay back down and let me pat,
your head until your fall asleep.
Bring forth the thoughts which make you smile,
bring forth the strength I see in you,
embrace these thoughts and in a while,
you'll wake up to another day.