sadness

Crooked Trees

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Favorites

 

I used to stand straight,
Firm and strong,
My limbs protected,
Unbreakable.

 

Until the wind came,
At first I stood tough,
But persist it did,
And I began to bend,
And bend,
And bend…

 

Now I stand crooked,
Waiting to snap.

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Explain

Could you just explain,

your surfacing emotions,

before they hide beneath.

a patch of pride,

each hazardous guess,

paints me critically,

black with blue intent,

shades of hatred,

flair in your silence,

inflicting further torture,

upon shameful desperation.

 

However, from time to time,

priorites tend to aling,

expressions of layers,

like a splash of water,

to an exhausted brush,

bravery is performed,

with hurtful honesty,

trust deepens affection,

and ever so briefly,

we fly in perfect harmony.

 

Silly me, I'll never learn.

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is about how feelings range and confuse, repeatedly. Enjoy.

Penance

Folder: 
Confessions

I tried to change

I tried to gain your approval

Tried to bring back the smile you had when we first met

and the fire that kept us alive for hours in dark heavens

I tried to turn back time and find my purity

Bowed down and prayed to the Divine

Burned my Nietzsche books

and turned to your Ignatian rules

Climbed the thousand steps of El Salvador

on my knees

Lit two candles in San Pedro Church

and prayed

Abstained myself from Rand and Marx

Silenced the waves of the seas

inside my soul,

the loud beating of my dying heart,

the whispers of the cold wind

Dressed black on Friday nights

Slapped my cheeks with verses

of my sins

Recited the rites of holiness 

to conjure your love

Dried up my eyes from hellish cries...

I swallowed you

Your blood, flesh, and tears

Like a sacrament, I welcomed it all —

even the dark clouds that moved 

around you

Didn't I hear the heavens and saw

the angels in you?

Still, my demons are here to stay and say,

Why am I still not enough for you?

How can be enough for you?

Deprivation

Folder: 
Haiku

I can't figure out,

My emotions are a mess.

Laugh, cry, scream or die?

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GENESIS

Folder: 
Confessions

I was but a faithless faithful married to my odes

A paradox of love and hate

A chainless slave of death

The master of a destiny roaming down lonesome roads

 

You came one day and I knew what to expect

Dark-red roses and a month for my heart to wreck

Like many of my poems, this love too will come to dust

In the comfort of the night, this bond will start to rust

 

But your light is stronger than my pessimism

Like a blanket in a stormy night, you envelope me

The touch and warmth of your skin tells me to believe again

In the vision of a tomorrow where I’ll never be alone again

 

With your lips, I remember my youth and hopes and dreams

With your hands, you take me back before I began to fear

With your tongue, you breathe life to my long-lost faith in heaven

With your eyes, I begin to hope and love again

 

And so then I took down my Berlin Wall,

Forgetting my sorrow and fear to fall

The Cold War is now over and the Sun has come

Here comes the Summer I've waited years to come

 

A puzzle I want to unravel,

You upped my curiosity

You bring more questions than answers

Testing my long-held tenacity

 

Years of reasons have finally abandoned my sanity

What is left is your voice and the visions of our promises

Gone are the days I preferred Rand and Hegel than your predictable daily updates

I now only crave for your fucked-up emojis and monotonous 'Hi's' and 'Hey's'

 

Wreathe me with your holy Marian poetry

As I undress my Peregrine peculiarity

Cast away the bedlam of the world

And cover me with your celestial words

 

If this love is a game of dark and light

Take me to Bethlehem where the stars breathe life

I'll lead you to my deepest sorrow

Off to Gethsemane our hearts shall go

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

My first poem in 3 years!!!

Please do read. This is about the beginning of the romance I am with right now. 

Please do comment and provide reviews. THANK YOU.

Fact in Fiction

Verse 1:
If we all believe in an utopia

That lasts forever,

We wouldn't try so hard to die,

Satisfation: so lose, yet so far

 

Chorus:
Erase and rewrite these stories of mine:
I"ll change the ending 'cause you're my soulmate

I cannot bear to watch you walk away.
Walk away with my love, hope, and dreams.

 

Verse 2:
Fact in fiction: There is no ending to our story

Until the day I die, I'll die with honor.

Whenever we're together, babe
You make the seasons start to change.

 

Bridge:
Whenever w're lost in paradise together,

I would ask you for a chance to make our love better

If only you could see how much I love you.

Things wouldn't have ended the way it did.

 

Last-Chorus:
All the songs I've written seemed like my story.

So, I sang them to death.]

Someday, you'll calll and congratulate me.

I'll prepare a good thank you and Good Bye message

For you: In time, I'll promise you that much. 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Based on the song: "Singing Got Better" by Ailee. English Subtitles up on YouTube.

Blade

Folder: 
Poetry

I sit there all night

blind of the pain and fright 

tis all for naught since they call me a child

 

I laugh since i watch them die,  all the while

I sit and make line after line 

Hearing the voices sending shivers down my spine

 

I take the knife and cringe at the voices

Deeper , longer, deeper, longer

more, more, more is all the voices whisper

 

 

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CAN YOU HEAR MY HEART BREAKING?

you said you loved me, was that a lie
if it was'nt then tell me why
why you did what you did to me
I still love you cant you see
am I a fool, , for loving you
 what now my love, will I do
turn my heart cold as stone
face this life on my own
should I curse the day we met
should I give up and just forget
forget the fun we shared together
face the fact it wasn't forever
face the truth , that all this time
you didnt love me, you were never mine!
 If this is the fate thats meant for me
what will I do, what will I be?
I wish you all the joy I can
I hope you find happines, with the other man.
please forgive me, for any wrongs I've done
Please forgive me, for not being the one
the one you could love, forever and a day
for thats how I will love you, in every way...
So my love I guess this is fairwell
I'll remember you fondly, in the stories I tell.

   

© Paul (ChryWizard). Posney 12/08/2016

Author's Notes/Comments: 

life is saddest when the one thing you desire, cant be reached!!!

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Prophetic Nightmare

This anger inside has rattled my cage

I hide it in a bottle labled rage

I;m sick of its tormenting lies

As it pokes and prys

And searches for a release

It begs pretty please

I keep telling it no, but it gets harder with time

I grab a bottle of tequilla and fuck the lime

I drown my sarrows and shatter my memories

With this broken bottle I sever my arteries

Laying there feeling guilty, I let my soul leave

I sigh and mutter, I just wanted one to believe

My blood's thickening, please just cauterize

'Cause in my final thoughts I finally realize

I take a breath and start to fight

Don't give up, I can see the light

My wife and kids are there crying

Please stop, I'm not dying

Then I hear them praying a prayer

As I look down at my cold dead stare

Laying in my coffin, I know it's too late

But, then I wake up sweating, It's not my fate

I roll over to kiss my wife

She's not there, is this still my life?