sadness

Breakup of Success

Abandoned and afraid
Scared to death I fade
Exhausted and dejected
Anxiety to be expected

.........................................

Only you know what you’ve done
My heart strings toyed for fun
Convinced you’re worth the fight
I went sleepless night after night

.........................................

Lying to my face
I thought you needed space
****, I was wrong
With him now you’re strong

.........................................

Your decision to leave
But you led me to believe
With my heart full of affection
I believed in a re-connection

.........................................

I was too naive
Blind, she won’t deceive?
But now I see the clues
Just a firework with no fuse

.........................................

Bawling for days
Alone with God I praised
A chance to be redeemed
This is what I always dreamed

.........................................

Slowly I found the sun
Finally, it begun!
A path to become a man
God laid out my plan

.........................................

Engineered to perfection
I detached no more connection
Freedom long at last
Happiness unsurpassed

.........................................

I jostled for position
Ignited with ambition
Friends, family and new dates
My single life awaits

.........................................

A 180 degree transition
Now I’m on a mission
Jubilant life grows on
New beginning, I’m a pawn

.........................................

The spring of the upswing
Soon I’ll be a king
Bitterness in the past
Surprised by this contrast

.........................................

I rose up from the dust
Like a bomb I was combust 
The fire burned inside
Leaping I found my stride 

.........................................

This poem a rendition 
Interpret with conviction
For I have found the way
Forever I will stay

 

Regret

The days were once bright and vibrant
Somehow I thought otherwise
Your love brought me summer time happiness
Now, even on the hottest of July afternoons, im cold to the bones
Your voice still echoes ever so subtly in my mind
as I stare into an eternal field of nothingness
I ponder whether our souls will unite again..
 
Author's Notes/Comments: 

I loved this woman for years. She was my best friend and my partner in crime.

I left her for a young beautiful scandinavian woman.

I now regret what I did, because she could never love me in the way this woman did.

I think about her everyday..

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The Dismantling Of A Soul

 


She's tried to be the strong one,

that sturdy, unbreakable wall.

But after years of doing it alone,

-the mortar starts to fall.



What's held her all together,

slowly drops away.

More and more corrosion,

takes a toll each day.



Then the bricks, of her strength,

start to break and crumble.

There upon the debris,

she begins to blindly stumble.



One by one,

they fall out of place.

Till finally, at last,

she's but an empty space.



Author's Notes/Comments: 

From 2003....

Thank God that now...my soul has been REBUILT!!! <3

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In Memories You Live

Once upon a day I lived, but now only memories and air

Question to exist, and left upon a forgotten chair

I fall victim; the very hostage to a fate that isn't fair

 

Into the graveyard of memories, where beautiful things fade and die

and behind the dying oak tree, somewhere is you and I

Beside us inscribed on the tomb is where our promises lie.


Eternal here, is the flowers born from the days

Where I thought it was forever and wasn't just a phase

Years long gone, but your spirit forever stays

 

Under the moon lays the possibilities of love

But in a tree, lies a poor and injured dove

Blind to see the world, and the beautiful stars above







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TRANSITS OF THE SUN

The sun shone brightly today
It was beautiful 
Or so they tell me

I saw it
I know it was there
But I couldn’t feel its presence

Everything is dark in my world
As another day passes without you
Another day without warmth 
Another day without light
Another day like every other
Since you’ve been gone 

Shining sun 
Skies of azure blue 
And fluffy white clouds

But none of them exist in my world anymore 

There is no color
There is no hue 
Everywhere I turn 
I see nothing but the absence of you 

When will it shine again?
I don’t know 
My sun is gone 
And I don’t know if it will come back 

I am the moon 
Trapped in eclipse 
Invisible and silent 
Cold and dark 

The world is between us 
And your light cannot shine on me 
Now I’m just a sphere 
Void of life
I emanate nothing 

And now all I can do 
Is wait for the earth to move
For this barrier to pass
So your light will shine on me 

Then I will reflect your brilliance
Then I will radiate your light 
And finally enveloped in your love
I will be beautiful again

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Clipped wings

When from my eyes flow bitter tears,

And when my heart grows full of fears,

You alone ask if I am ok,

And tell me that you want me to stay.

I thank you now for all your words,

That let me soar, just like the birds.

Though soon, again, I fall to the ground,

And know that I shall never be forever unbound.

broken down

Folder: 
open door's

Sadness is all I have. Sadness is keeping me open. Sadness is letting you see my hurt. So when you come in to my life you will know you dealing with something broken,so don't try and fix that thing that is broken when you know you just passing by

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tags:

I feel quit lonely here, about to burst in to tears.

I feel quit lonely here, about to burst in to tears. I can't imagine how my heart really feels, but I know I feel tired of the lies everyone tells me. I think my heart is hurt by all the pain I hold inside me. I feel like screaming till my voice is gone completely, like crying and never stopping just how rain happens, like running after something that's not really there but I keep going because I'm so confused of everything that's going on. I wanna say I'm sorry but why should I, if I'm not the one hurting anybody, I'm the one getting hurt but I still hold it in till I can't no more and then explode of all the pain, jealousy, anger, madness, and love, the one thing I fear most sometimes. I try being someone else because I wanna forget who I am, I wanna be someone who no one lies to and never leaves me waiting. I wanna be that girl who everyone loves, just like everyone loves the Fresh air of the beach when there walking in the sand with their love ones. But I will always stay stuck here wanting everyone to stop lying to me and tell me truth about how they feel. There's only one thing in life I want the most and that's to love the ones that are there for me and have never lied and to succeed in life with the goals I have in mind. I feel quit lonely here about to burst in tears. 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this poem yesterday, I guess I didn't feel good about something or someone.  I guess i was just tired of all the lies and the untruthness. I don't know how it sounds but I just wrote what ever came out from inside of me. We live in a world full of lies, hate, jealousy and confusion and maybe its bringing me down Sometimes And wrote something about it. 

Within My Own

A being sewn with fine broken lace and without any eyes

Worn and torn, thus broken and weathered by years of many lies

Clings onto the forgotten but once noticed shelf just once more

Before the time comes to be shattered by the reality and the floor

 

I dare not speak of the past and the tunes played

But to mention the emotions that filled up this now empty room ,and warmed the hearts of many, once important but now meaningless

Comes now the cold and wicked air of the fallen and betrayed

 

She begs me now not to go back,

But I must travel the past once more

The confidence was there but now today I lack

because I fail to recognize when to shut the door

 

What was now alive is long gone, and dead

As we sing for another day, while someone else loses their head

The unspeakable and unmentionable becomes now our vision

We ignore and feign ignorance to proceed with our own decision

 

Greed is right behind my shoulders

I say that I must not become like the rest of the world

I try to kill the dark behind me but wait another day once more

I ripped the happiest moments from the book of memories

to hold it dearly, but it blocks my path today as huge boulders

 

As you try to lock the door

Something whispers faintly but ever so determined to your ear

"Do not dare forget, but do not be sore."

"The present dies, but a future born does not represent fear"

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