sadness

Lost to Sea

light a fire just to watch it burn
Sit across the street with empty hands
Behind a tree unnoticed so it's not my turn 
I have infinite thoughts but empty plans

Ending up only to be pretty hollow
Ideas only stay for portion of a second
Echoing through the empty walls and then comes nothing
Diffusing into the air, to become a forgotten particle
and nothing comes to follow


To set the ominous breeze
Over the most vibrant sea that suddenly lost color
and the skies are now gone and dull
They paint the picture to not excite, but simply appease

To be trapped inside this now and empty void
With nothing but everything destroyed
To say that we are fine and simply avoid
Now we sail swift onto the large sea of contradictions
Too lost within that we forget our own convictions
Letting loose the anchor of anxiety and thus become the restrictions

 

But this is not the end
A man aboard throws over his only friend
And a storm rolls in and then our destination is not known
As realization becomes the new sun and hearts are turned to stone
A daughter now deserted by her parents is overwhelmed in strife
She whimpers but can not help wonder what makes up this sickly life
A world where people phase in and phase out
and thoughts become ideas and ideas become a shout
and how long does a day go on to stay out and last,
Before awesome expectations become invisible, straight into the past?

 

Will the ship find it's way to land, or sink in despair?
Great ideas no match for the roaring waves of Negativity and ignorance?
Those striving so long for a real sun to only be in vain, deprived?
And those hopelessly waiting for relief to be cruelly concealed, unaware?

 

The masterpiece of a book now weathered to nothing but scribbles
A great idea now hidden and destroyed by life's cruel riddles
Will the hands be strong at ease to create another inspiration

Or will it fail to swim over the simplest waves and forget it's own foundation?






Dead To The World

Folder: 
Depression/sadness

I'm stuck inside myself.

 

Attacked by all my feelings,

attacked by all my pain.

 

I'm stuck inside my head,

and I'm dead to the world. 

 

 

Everyone around me is living,

they seem truly happy,

they go out and do things.

 

 

And then there's me...

 

I'm the girl who throws 

out small smiles,

ones that aren't like my real ones,

and yet people still fall for them.

 

I smile and act like everything

is a-okay when I'm around others,

But once I'm alone-

the smile drops away,

the laughter dies.

 

The tears come,

the pain hits, 

and I slowly sink 

down onto the floor. 

 

I'm dead to the world.

 

I'm not living anymore.

 

Dead to the World

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Please let me know what you think!

 

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Phoenix

Folder: 
Love

Let me lie

Let me freeze again

Till death do we part

And we are on a fast road there

Let me die

Let me live

For death is only the beginning

 

And I will rise again

Atlas

I am Atlas

Cursed to uphold you all

Show me the universe

The world in my hands

The sun at my back

Clouds and nebulas are my clothing

Ill carry your world

 

Time and I converse

As you are born and grow

Earth and I speak

I call out your name

Don’t feel so low

I’ll carry your world

 

Show me your strength

The fire in your eyes

The desire in your fight

Sometimes I feel so low

About to explode

I’ll carry your world

 

The world in your eyes

Adventure in your smile

Love in your life

Strength in your touch

Laughter in your youth

Ill carry your world

 

I call out your name

The world on my shoulders

You hear the thunder from my voice

The lightening in my eyes

The load is not too heavy

I call out your name

I’ll carry your world

 

For I am ATLAS

Cursed to uphold you

I'd drop the world to catch your tears

 

I’ll carry your world

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Crawling

You're still lost within the time
The ultimate crime
That you couldn't really hurt
but now you're gone and just inert

You try to find meaning in the days
That it wasn't just a phase
That you could just lay in the sun
and never say you jumped the gun

and you lie wide awake at night
Hard at thought, ready to write
You wrote on a piece of paper "I think this time, I'll be okay"
But you don't really know, your thoughts never stay






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Wrestling with Monsters

Folder: 
Depression/sadness

I'm wrestling around with

the monsters inside me.

 

Begging them to just leave me alone!

 

 

But these monsters inside of me

just don't care about what I want!

 

They want me to open up my heart,

so they can get inside.

 

 

I'm wrestling around with

the monsters inside me.

 

I don't know who's going to win...

 

 

I'm wrestling with the monsters inside of me,

 

I'm not sure whether I want 

to continue on...

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote while I was in a dark place...

Memories of a Balloon

I am a popped balloon

I certainly was popped too soon

I’m deflated and sad, it’s really too bad

My lofty life is now in ruin

 

I feel so used and frankly abused

I’ve been twisted and pulled and shaped into things

Stretched to capacity and tied up with strings

Why couldn’t you have left me right there with my friend

Instead you propelled me to this dreadful end

 

Why do we fool ourselves that this is love

Perhaps it is the feeling of being high above

Looking down, bouncing around, on a cloud of air

Oh yes, oh yes, I remember being there

 

Again we allow ourselves to get pumped up, just to be deflated

But oh when I’m up... I feel so elated

I can do anything, anything, anything at all

I can even float gracefully during the fall

 

But when it’s all over and I’ve done everything

I hope I get recycled as an airplane wing

This way I can take to the sky once again

Soar high and free and remember back when…

 

 

original work by T ' Renee 4/1/14

Author's Notes/Comments: 

just for fun, a few minutes to kill...

 

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I Love You

Folder: 
To My Wife

I want to say I love you

But you’ve heard it all before

In different ways

Different places

New schemes on how to say it

How do I make it special?

How do I get across

Just how much I want you

How much I need you

How much that I love you

That I’d give my life away

If I could make you smile once

And I would say it’s worth it

Because I’ll spend my whole life

To make you happy

I’ll give my last breath

To make you feel safe

And needed

 

And loved

Outside of You, A Psalm

Folder: 
Fractural Pieces

Outside of you, nothing about me makes sense.

You created the stars with your breath, the sun with your voice.

Great is The Lord, my God, the great leader of hosts!

Who can tell of your greatness, your mercy, your love?

Who can begin to mention who you are; what you do?

Who among men can understand your place?

Men fall to their knees before you and children run into your arms.

Who is like you oh Lord God?

Who is like our daddy in heaven, who is everywhere at once;

Rejoicing next to the reunited lovers, and the hand on the shoulder of mourners?