sadness

Nois Sesbo

Folder: 
Voodoo

The cup was half empty
before we were born
The taste mirrored sour fruit
I collected drops of uncertainty to fill it up
And yet full it never did run
I found you in a sea of faceless books
Drops of laughter filled page after page
of self-loathing
The drug you chose was the remedy
I was deprived
Deep, deep down parts of me
unwound
My darkness, dank and distorted
reached for your elusive light
My madness is infectious
you never stood a chance
We tiptoed silently, searching
for a way around the Burden Tree

A path never travelled would have

been better suited

But now I watch and I wait

you moved on with grace

The staccato rhythm of my thoughts

echo across empty walls

I wish I could split in two

But I was a plague and you were a Pachelbel fugue

Together,

rhyme with no reason

the devil's interval

a space with no shape

...love in an augmented form

But,

the cup was full

the fruit was sweet

And as always...

My madness stained the blue to red

I only know how to create destruction in my Path

I thank the darkness for the distance

and only hope that you find happiness

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

In the event it's not obvious- the title is a play on the word, "obsession." 

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Detour

It saddens me
That you once believed in me
And I have failed to make the grade
I've made my own bed
It's time I lie in it...

You'll never understand or accept
The reasons for me pulling away
They aren't that obvious
And the sweetness and kindness
That used to be saving grace
Has turned into ugliness and hatred
A stranger to you...

I gave you what you wanted
But not what you sorely needed
A closeness, a partner
And the blame knocks at my door
You want to know what
How you are at fault
Is it gonna change anything?
Will you believe it?
Rest assured, no one is
Immune from the pain...

If love is a game
I'm woefully unprepared
And lost yet again
If love is real
Then I'm ignorant to its claim
But we aren't going anywhere
Arguments, not conversation
Are the order of the days winding down
Until its end
We want the best for each other
What's the use of opining or worrying
About who we will pick down the line?
Once you were mine
I was yours
And there is only regret
That I failed to keep beauty
In my grasp
I'm sorry...

P-3/25/12

Waiting For You

 

As I stand here, waiting for you,

The wind whistles tunelessly around me

And playfully ruffles my hair.

But I don't care.

I'm waiting here for you.


As I stand here, waiting for you,

The rain showers me with icy kisses

And waters the rose that I hold.

But I'm not cold.

I'm waiting here for you.


As I stand here, waiting for you,

The street lights all glare at me.

I nervously twirl the rose

And alter my pose.

I'm waiting here for you.


As I stand here, waiting for you,

The old clock strikes, like a curfew bell.

I give the rose to the street,

Then motivate my feet.

I'm finally through waiting here for you.


-RH-



 

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Mirrors and Memories

 

Do mirrors have memories, and if so,

Do they sometimes weep at the sights they have seen?

I don't mean ugly faces and out of shape bodies,

But rather, all the anger, meanness and deceit

That sometimes goes on behind closed doors.

Mirrors can witness a lifetime of such things -

Sometimes several lifetimes. So I wonder,

Do they ever shed a tear? Do they ever tell?

Or do they eventually break under the strain?


-RH-



 

 

 

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Death up me

Just wanna die 

Craving for death 

Serve me it on a silver plater 

My heart full of bruces 

Just bleeding out pain 

Veins pumping hate 

I ate a plate of troubles 

My stomach full of problems 

Somebody put a f----ng gun on me head 

Jus blow me brains out 

And put me lights-out 

Its a fight I cant win 

A battle I already lost 

Now im ready for darkness to take me over 

Gameover with me life 

Take me to after life 

Im just sick to wake up to thes world 

Mentality word 

Death upon earth 

Come and take me spirit 

To live is just a dream to me 

Death is reality.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

wrote this in 2011 was 18 years

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A Cherry Tree

Picking up the pieces

Of a shattered self

You callously left behind

Even in the darkness

There’s nowhere to hide

And what’s worse

That despite all I do

She’ll never be mine.

 

She reached out for you

Searching for an answer

As to why you had to leave

Even if momma didn’t believe

In you anymore is a piss poor excuse

To shut the door.

 

You may have been abandoned

As a child which in some circles

Gives you the right to do the same

From weakness builds strength

But she has too much to lose

If not already

And nothing to gain

So the lesson you end up teaching

Is when things get tough

Just run to the next woman

Hoping and praying that she won’t

Do the same thing.

 

When she’s old enough to truly understand

Will you then come to her rescue and assure her?

That everything will be fine?

Perhaps she’ll forgive you

You may share the same blood

But the difference is she has a soul

She may go far

She may be ordinary

And never live up to expectations

But there’s no denying

She’s something special

And you’re missing out

Some want the glory

Some want to blame

Some were kept away

The rest are taking it day by day

Through the good and bad

Holding it down

Keeping it together.

 

P-3/14/14.

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Somebody's Pain

Folder: 
People

I Know How You Feel With Tears
But I Can't Understand Your Past
For Shoes Can Walk So Far
I Dont Think I Can Walk This Far
These Bones Ache
This Flesh Is Killing Me
Please Save Me Again
Im Losing It
How Long
Must I Wait
How Long
Must I Feel This Pain


I've Been Waiting A Long Time
I Can't Get Over The Fact
That I'm Still Weak
I'm Broken
And That I Can't Pick Up The Pieces
Especially Not By Myself
I Know I Need Someone To Lean On
I Can't Really Reach Out
And I Don't Feel Like
I Have A Voice In This World
But Honestly
I Don't Really Speak Out
Because I Have
No One To Speak To


I Really Need Someone
Somebody To Talk To
Someone To Lean On
Someon I Can Cry To
Someone I Can Laugh With
Someone I Can Be In Love With
Someone I Can Be Myself With
But In All Of These Times
I Just Feel Too Alone
I'm Just Too Sad

The Lion Doesn’t Sleep Tonight

His eyes 

Dulled by years 

Of iron bars and cold hard ground 

Paces in circles 
Looking but never seeing 
Past the cage that holds his soul 
First one way 
Then another 
Worn, torn and beaten by time 
While those who come to look 
And gaze at this king 
Say 
What a magnificent beast 
What a beautiful animal 
But all that really remains 
Is a coat of skin 
And sad shrouded eyes 
Pacing day and night 
In never ending circles 
First one way and then another

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So Listen

Love

It hurts your Soul,

Your Mind, Your Body

moveless with heartbreak,

as you try to Understand,

Listen, Remember

your head hurts,

your weeping burns

a hole into your Eyes,

Your Mind, Your Heart

This is true love,

the hearfelt pain

trying to breathe,

but no air getting in-

your throat Closes,

Throbs, Imploads

as the with of death

takes you through

the pain that is - his

Death

But Listen

as time goes on,

on you move,

And find the better

of what life can give-

A New Love

So Listen

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