sadness

Death up me

Just wanna die 

Craving for death 

Serve me it on a silver plater 

My heart full of bruces 

Just bleeding out pain 

Veins pumping hate 

I ate a plate of troubles 

My stomach full of problems 

Somebody put a f----ng gun on me head 

Jus blow me brains out 

And put me lights-out 

Its a fight I cant win 

A battle I already lost 

Now im ready for darkness to take me over 

Gameover with me life 

Take me to after life 

Im just sick to wake up to thes world 

Mentality word 

Death upon earth 

Come and take me spirit 

To live is just a dream to me 

Death is reality.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

wrote this in 2011 was 18 years

View kasikid's Full Portfolio

A Cherry Tree

Picking up the pieces

Of a shattered self

You callously left behind

Even in the darkness

There’s nowhere to hide

And what’s worse

That despite all I do

She’ll never be mine.

 

She reached out for you

Searching for an answer

As to why you had to leave

Even if momma didn’t believe

In you anymore is a piss poor excuse

To shut the door.

 

You may have been abandoned

As a child which in some circles

Gives you the right to do the same

From weakness builds strength

But she has too much to lose

If not already

And nothing to gain

So the lesson you end up teaching

Is when things get tough

Just run to the next woman

Hoping and praying that she won’t

Do the same thing.

 

When she’s old enough to truly understand

Will you then come to her rescue and assure her?

That everything will be fine?

Perhaps she’ll forgive you

You may share the same blood

But the difference is she has a soul

She may go far

She may be ordinary

And never live up to expectations

But there’s no denying

She’s something special

And you’re missing out

Some want the glory

Some want to blame

Some were kept away

The rest are taking it day by day

Through the good and bad

Holding it down

Keeping it together.

 

P-3/14/14.

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Somebody's Pain

Folder: 
People

I Know How You Feel With Tears
But I Can't Understand Your Past
For Shoes Can Walk So Far
I Dont Think I Can Walk This Far
These Bones Ache
This Flesh Is Killing Me
Please Save Me Again
Im Losing It
How Long
Must I Wait
How Long
Must I Feel This Pain


I've Been Waiting A Long Time
I Can't Get Over The Fact
That I'm Still Weak
I'm Broken
And That I Can't Pick Up The Pieces
Especially Not By Myself
I Know I Need Someone To Lean On
I Can't Really Reach Out
And I Don't Feel Like
I Have A Voice In This World
But Honestly
I Don't Really Speak Out
Because I Have
No One To Speak To


I Really Need Someone
Somebody To Talk To
Someone To Lean On
Someon I Can Cry To
Someone I Can Laugh With
Someone I Can Be In Love With
Someone I Can Be Myself With
But In All Of These Times
I Just Feel Too Alone
I'm Just Too Sad

The Lion Doesn’t Sleep Tonight

His eyes 

Dulled by years 

Of iron bars and cold hard ground 

Paces in circles 
Looking but never seeing 
Past the cage that holds his soul 
First one way 
Then another 
Worn, torn and beaten by time 
While those who come to look 
And gaze at this king 
Say 
What a magnificent beast 
What a beautiful animal 
But all that really remains 
Is a coat of skin 
And sad shrouded eyes 
Pacing day and night 
In never ending circles 
First one way and then another

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So Listen

Love

It hurts your Soul,

Your Mind, Your Body

moveless with heartbreak,

as you try to Understand,

Listen, Remember

your head hurts,

your weeping burns

a hole into your Eyes,

Your Mind, Your Heart

This is true love,

the hearfelt pain

trying to breathe,

but no air getting in-

your throat Closes,

Throbs, Imploads

as the with of death

takes you through

the pain that is - his

Death

But Listen

as time goes on,

on you move,

And find the better

of what life can give-

A New Love

So Listen

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At A Time

At a time that

is of past passing-

A yellow house brown

of blackened sunflowers

In a grey town

And a moon

as red as the, soon,

lives of death

Leads us through hours

beyond this taken breath


The house is dark, a hint of red,

and has a quiet feel, as before nature's warnings-

Then, it was at night,

they could feel a movement, restless,

Surely it was not right

The parents sneaked around

and death hit them in an instant

as the taker ran, never to be found

The childrens' hearts had a hole,

definitely, the three were not full

as they were saddened

at the night that was surely testless

and at that time, it was sure

they were not yet reddened


We open to a placement, a blue day,

where the many have had breath taken-

The children were in the foster

a system, that was very sad

as the brother was not on their roster

The brother, from his foster, he ran

Rightly so, he was definitely not a fan

They had found him by the home

near his siblings, that was a tad

too far for him to roam


Now a windy day, at a sunrise,

a green fire rises, higher and higher-

The boy's parents' sunset, to him, was impart

as he felt, his life was raken

so he set, in the prison, his heart

and went out into the darkness

on a path set out in fire,

where the sun sets on its blackness

and the rain keeps the heat

slow and still, until the time

his vengence must readily beat


He moves as a sunset

brings him closer to darkness-

The path ends at a house,

beyond the row of quinces

where he was sure it was his "workhouse"

He went in, to catch the killer,

temptation sprang, but he was backed

So, he had to enact

and, for help, became a caller

The tornado finally passes,

after the taker, he catches

but finds the alleges

never discovers him any coolness

from the darkness, and the dankness


What he thought was sunset,

was actually sunrise,

that brought, with all his ties,

him to light, without any debt

Later, in the spring,

the children are grown, the bells ring,

with candles lit,

comes their lives, moonlit

and sunflowers no longer blackened,

and their lives no longer darkened,

but brightened with

Roses, lilies, and pansis

never to forget, their taken breath,

At A Time

View krixano's Full Portfolio

Fucking Lost Again

You Want To Bring Them
Some Sort Of Happiness
But Nothing You Bring
Makes Them Smile At All
Not Even The Slightest Bit


You Wonder What Went Wrong In Your Life
Sometimes You Want Your Life To End
And Sometimes You Don't Know What To Do
But You End Up Moving Foward
Because You Don't Know
What The Else The Fuck To Do


You Don't Have Any Talents
You Don't Have Any Skills
The Dream I've Had
Since I Became A Christian
Hasn't Moved Forward
I Don't Know What To Do
I Don't Know What To Say


I'm Just Lost And I Need T Obe Saved Again
And I Need To Feel Lovable, Capable And Worthwhile
I Need To Know I Am Not Alone
I Need To Know I Am Loved Without Strings

 

 

Tuesdays

I dont know why we're assigned our curses

Or why I can make them sound good on paper

Go ahead,  laugh

At my obscurity

Pretend I am as dumb as you think

I will not hate you for it

In fact you are my favorite reader

The reader,

Who despite their staunchest resistance,

Can do nothing but be mesmerized by me

Go ahead look

look at my words

My spies

The oils that drain off the paper

Seeping into your skin

Lurking through your hypothalamus

Hunting for that one night

That one terrible night

And all of the sudden

It is not my poem

It is yours

You are the one who's never felt so alone

You are the one who she'll never love

You are trying everything to make things better but have only ever known how to make them worse

We want to run from the fear and pain

But this where I stop running with you.

I end where my poems end

at the bottom of the page

So make your own disasters

Dwell on your own disapointments

Let them all be as miserable as you think they are

Be completely unreasonable

And remember

The only thing worse than being me

This bag of bones you found on the internet,

Is being a hypocrite

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tags:

spiraling

Folder: 
Poetry

I'm spiraling out of control

With no where to go

 

My mind is losing it's grip

Reality is begining to slip

 

There's no where left to turn

My desire starts to burn  

 

I can't seem to find my feet

My heart is ceasing to beat  

 

Sanity is but a shallow dream

Spinning too fast, I begin to scream  

 

I'm losing my balance, starting to fall

The world's gone black, you can't hear my call  

 

It's dizzying how fast I'm going

There's an odd feeling of knowing  

 

The end is near, it's closing in

My patience is wearing thin  

 

Goodbye to my sanity

It's spiraling out from beneath me  

 

I'm no longer who I was before

There's no one here anymore!