sadness

Seirenes

Folder: 
Tales and Fables
They say that love is an action
Not a feeling
Then why did I feel that way
Like spiraling down Charybdis 
To the sound of your siren song
 
Your haunting melody embraced my mind
Teasing me, clutching my heart
Until I could do no more than listen
The pain in your voice evident
The struggle against your very nature
 
How I wish that I could have saved you
That I had borne you far away
But you knew my thoughts
You sensed my intentions
And saved me instead 
From the surf of your tsunami
 
So now I sit alone on the sand
And perhaps my greatest torture 
Is standing on the shore of your pain 
And crying out to the oceans that separate us 
To receive nothing but silence in return.

The Bouttonniere and Corsage

Folder: 
Poems

I'm walking by a place,

A place that has lost its reason to walk by.

Now I look at it with a somber face and a heavy heart.

I do recall the times i was here,

the joy and cause I had to visit here.

But its not those reasons that make me low.

Not the nostolgiac talks or even the cause of the past that weighs on my soul.

It is the joy of then, and lack of it now that brings me low.

The smiles that were, the smiles that aren't and smiles that could have been

The smiles that could have been.

 

Now instead I walk falsely,

to make light of what weighs heavy.

To make light of what weighs heavy.

I hold my head a little higher, stand a little straighter,

work a little harder; work a little too hard.

Joke a little more, laugh a little louder and smile,

Smile a little too much.

To make light of what weighs heavy at the place I'm walking by.

Into the Depths of Chaos


I slip into an onyx dream
darker than any decaying thing
From the void trying to fill the void
Like Erebus I too am born of Chaos
-unraveling in a mist of dissonance
The silken noose tightens
I am cast into my own Spellhold-
cursed and forgotten
Pain is a welcomed refuge
Lest the 'stars hide their fires'
I will burn into a blacken ember

The hour of silence beckons
Echidna coils her fiery despair
Round and round, over and over
A mother's love- her beautiful poison
And sinks her fangs while
begging for absolution

I sink below the slithering surface
where nighmares wash away the sadness
There is no peaceful passing
She carves her scars into her child's heart
And only with her blessing does she allow any healing

I slip further into the tangled madness
caught on layers of dissension
The steady beating of despair
is slowly creating a new heir
She shows you the horizon
She tells you it is near
Then she swims in self delusion
all while drowning others with her fear

I close my eyes, I open them wide
Inside a sleepless mind, the quiet
is a beautiful lie
Like it or not I have to choose-
To descend further into a watery grave
or tie the noose 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

**My relationship with my mother can be quite...tumultuous**

Fey

Folder: 
Tales and Fables

The heart within me turned to stone

Like a wolf pack's lonesome cries

Darkness woven in my bones

But starlight fading in my eyes

I hear the whispers in the trees

A wisp's song fluttering on the breeze

But ne'er will I go home again

Ne'er will I go

 

I heard the call of maiden fair

But swore again I'd go not there

My lonesome crying in the night

Has formed me as a sullen wight

Oh cursed fairy! How could you lead

A child to such an awful deed

For ne'er can I return again

Ne'er to return

 

Alone at last, my will is done

Now, forever this must be

Before my mind be overrun

To hurt no more, my final plea

My past is lost, the future nigh

My story dead on sands of time

To home I must return again

Again I must turn home

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I lost her

 

I yearn for you,

But we're, sitting in silence and im just trying to catch a word of your thoughts,

Are you thinking about me?

Do you even still think about me?

Brutal heartbreak, how much can one heart take,

You sleep naked infront of me and my eyes search your body for the scars that I left,

I want to, be inside of you and heal you from within,

I want to,

I want to bend you over and,

I want to, but,

I am not your enemy,

I am not your friend,

I'm everything I couldn't be for you,

And everything that I'm not, within.

 
Author's Notes/Comments: 

Forever my Taco

I've. Already. Died.

 

Were my life to just cease,

Would it even be a great loss?

Or would their grief, for me,

Be so hard to come across?

 

Would any weeping ensue,

With a heart that's so aching?

From their guilt of the years,

Convinced I, was only faking?

 

And would they even feel sorry,

For tossing me carelessly away?

For breaking my aching heart?

For causing me, such dismay?

 

Will they realize how I've hurt,

Because of their frequent inactions?

For blaming me for it all?

And for contrived-false infractions?

 

I feel buried-cold and forgotten,

Despite how hard I have tried.

Because nowadays, it's like,

..........I've. Already. Died.

 

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Life Played Out

 

Tired, weary, so battered and torn,

Life played out,

And has left me too worn.

 

Too worn to wonder, to even care,

Why it failed me so much,

And left me empty, there.

 

I must have misstepped, didn't calculate,

That such utter emptiness...

Would result in this fate.

 

Now here wide awake, still I am...5 AM,

With pain, loneliness and fear,

My only so-called, 'friends'.

 

Its like putting on a play, to an audience of none.

As I take my curtain-call,

With the soon-rising sun.

 

And again it'll met out, just another old day,

That I have to trudge right on through,

And find my own way.

 

Aletheia

In the dreary day
In the dreary night
I, a wingless fae,
Weep in life’s dull light
Dream of lands forlorn
Chained in thorns I mourn

Music

It fills my ears and mind,

It's like a blanket for my feelings.

Flowing through my tortured thoughts,

Making them seem a little less noticeable.

It dulls my overactive mind,

It makes me less aware of the travesties which haunt me.

Through the melodic noises it's hard to think strait.

This is why I listen,

Because it's a tranquilizer for my mind.