sadness

I feel quit lonely here, about to burst in to tears.

I feel quit lonely here, about to burst in to tears. I can't imagine how my heart really feels, but I know I feel tired of the lies everyone tells me. I think my heart is hurt by all the pain I hold inside me. I feel like screaming till my voice is gone completely, like crying and never stopping just how rain happens, like running after something that's not really there but I keep going because I'm so confused of everything that's going on. I wanna say I'm sorry but why should I, if I'm not the one hurting anybody, I'm the one getting hurt but I still hold it in till I can't no more and then explode of all the pain, jealousy, anger, madness, and love, the one thing I fear most sometimes. I try being someone else because I wanna forget who I am, I wanna be someone who no one lies to and never leaves me waiting. I wanna be that girl who everyone loves, just like everyone loves the Fresh air of the beach when there walking in the sand with their love ones. But I will always stay stuck here wanting everyone to stop lying to me and tell me truth about how they feel. There's only one thing in life I want the most and that's to love the ones that are there for me and have never lied and to succeed in life with the goals I have in mind. I feel quit lonely here about to burst in tears. 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this poem yesterday, I guess I didn't feel good about something or someone.  I guess i was just tired of all the lies and the untruthness. I don't know how it sounds but I just wrote what ever came out from inside of me. We live in a world full of lies, hate, jealousy and confusion and maybe its bringing me down Sometimes And wrote something about it. 

Within My Own

A being sewn with fine broken lace and without any eyes

Worn and torn, thus broken and weathered by years of many lies

Clings onto the forgotten but once noticed shelf just once more

Before the time comes to be shattered by the reality and the floor

 

I dare not speak of the past and the tunes played

But to mention the emotions that filled up this now empty room ,and warmed the hearts of many, once important but now meaningless

Comes now the cold and wicked air of the fallen and betrayed

 

She begs me now not to go back,

But I must travel the past once more

The confidence was there but now today I lack

because I fail to recognize when to shut the door

 

What was now alive is long gone, and dead

As we sing for another day, while someone else loses their head

The unspeakable and unmentionable becomes now our vision

We ignore and feign ignorance to proceed with our own decision

 

Greed is right behind my shoulders

I say that I must not become like the rest of the world

I try to kill the dark behind me but wait another day once more

I ripped the happiest moments from the book of memories

to hold it dearly, but it blocks my path today as huge boulders

 

As you try to lock the door

Something whispers faintly but ever so determined to your ear

"Do not dare forget, but do not be sore."

"The present dies, but a future born does not represent fear"

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Lost to Sea

light a fire just to watch it burn
Sit across the street with empty hands
Behind a tree unnoticed so it's not my turn 
I have infinite thoughts but empty plans

Ending up only to be pretty hollow
Ideas only stay for portion of a second
Echoing through the empty walls and then comes nothing
Diffusing into the air, to become a forgotten particle
and nothing comes to follow


To set the ominous breeze
Over the most vibrant sea that suddenly lost color
and the skies are now gone and dull
They paint the picture to not excite, but simply appease

To be trapped inside this now and empty void
With nothing but everything destroyed
To say that we are fine and simply avoid
Now we sail swift onto the large sea of contradictions
Too lost within that we forget our own convictions
Letting loose the anchor of anxiety and thus become the restrictions

 

But this is not the end
A man aboard throws over his only friend
And a storm rolls in and then our destination is not known
As realization becomes the new sun and hearts are turned to stone
A daughter now deserted by her parents is overwhelmed in strife
She whimpers but can not help wonder what makes up this sickly life
A world where people phase in and phase out
and thoughts become ideas and ideas become a shout
and how long does a day go on to stay out and last,
Before awesome expectations become invisible, straight into the past?

 

Will the ship find it's way to land, or sink in despair?
Great ideas no match for the roaring waves of Negativity and ignorance?
Those striving so long for a real sun to only be in vain, deprived?
And those hopelessly waiting for relief to be cruelly concealed, unaware?

 

The masterpiece of a book now weathered to nothing but scribbles
A great idea now hidden and destroyed by life's cruel riddles
Will the hands be strong at ease to create another inspiration

Or will it fail to swim over the simplest waves and forget it's own foundation?






Dead To The World

Folder: 
Depression/sadness

I'm stuck inside myself.

 

Attacked by all my feelings,

attacked by all my pain.

 

I'm stuck inside my head,

and I'm dead to the world. 

 

 

Everyone around me is living,

they seem truly happy,

they go out and do things.

 

 

And then there's me...

 

I'm the girl who throws 

out small smiles,

ones that aren't like my real ones,

and yet people still fall for them.

 

I smile and act like everything

is a-okay when I'm around others,

But once I'm alone-

the smile drops away,

the laughter dies.

 

The tears come,

the pain hits, 

and I slowly sink 

down onto the floor. 

 

I'm dead to the world.

 

I'm not living anymore.

 

Dead to the World

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Please let me know what you think!

 

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Phoenix

Folder: 
Love

Let me lie

Let me freeze again

Till death do we part

And we are on a fast road there

Let me die

Let me live

For death is only the beginning

 

And I will rise again

Atlas

I am Atlas

Cursed to uphold you all

Show me the universe

The world in my hands

The sun at my back

Clouds and nebulas are my clothing

Ill carry your world

 

Time and I converse

As you are born and grow

Earth and I speak

I call out your name

Don’t feel so low

I’ll carry your world

 

Show me your strength

The fire in your eyes

The desire in your fight

Sometimes I feel so low

About to explode

I’ll carry your world

 

The world in your eyes

Adventure in your smile

Love in your life

Strength in your touch

Laughter in your youth

Ill carry your world

 

I call out your name

The world on my shoulders

You hear the thunder from my voice

The lightening in my eyes

The load is not too heavy

I call out your name

I’ll carry your world

 

For I am ATLAS

Cursed to uphold you

I'd drop the world to catch your tears

 

I’ll carry your world

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Crawling

You're still lost within the time
The ultimate crime
That you couldn't really hurt
but now you're gone and just inert

You try to find meaning in the days
That it wasn't just a phase
That you could just lay in the sun
and never say you jumped the gun

and you lie wide awake at night
Hard at thought, ready to write
You wrote on a piece of paper "I think this time, I'll be okay"
But you don't really know, your thoughts never stay






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Wrestling with Monsters

Folder: 
Depression/sadness

I'm wrestling around with

the monsters inside me.

 

Begging them to just leave me alone!

 

 

But these monsters inside of me

just don't care about what I want!

 

They want me to open up my heart,

so they can get inside.

 

 

I'm wrestling around with

the monsters inside me.

 

I don't know who's going to win...

 

 

I'm wrestling with the monsters inside of me,

 

I'm not sure whether I want 

to continue on...

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote while I was in a dark place...

Memories of a Balloon

I am a popped balloon

I certainly was popped too soon

I’m deflated and sad, it’s really too bad

My lofty life is now in ruin

 

I feel so used and frankly abused

I’ve been twisted and pulled and shaped into things

Stretched to capacity and tied up with strings

Why couldn’t you have left me right there with my friend

Instead you propelled me to this dreadful end

 

Why do we fool ourselves that this is love

Perhaps it is the feeling of being high above

Looking down, bouncing around, on a cloud of air

Oh yes, oh yes, I remember being there

 

Again we allow ourselves to get pumped up, just to be deflated

But oh when I’m up... I feel so elated

I can do anything, anything, anything at all

I can even float gracefully during the fall

 

But when it’s all over and I’ve done everything

I hope I get recycled as an airplane wing

This way I can take to the sky once again

Soar high and free and remember back when…

 

 

original work by T ' Renee 4/1/14

Author's Notes/Comments: 

just for fun, a few minutes to kill...

 

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