Author Information
My Date's Cheap
My Date’s Cheap
Clark Steven Lupton
(as Clara Stephanie Lupton)
February 20, 2005
When my blind date arrived at our gate I was shocked
His shirt was drenched with sweat because he walked!
I was hesitant to let him inside
Then he said, “Let’s go!” and hailed a taxi for our ride
He took me to McDonalds, where I thought of leaving
He was handsome enough, but looks can be deceiving
Afterward I thought he was going to take me to a movie at Power Plant Mall
But instead he bought a VCD from a sidewalk stall
From there we went into 7-11 to buy snacks
As far as class goes, this date lacks
Then he walked me to Glorietta Park
By the time we arrived it had gotten dark
I was thinking I wanted to hang myself in a noose
Then he started a conversation and opened a Granny Goose
He wanted to talk and I decided I would
Being accommodating is a virtue so I thought that I should
We people-watched and looked at cars
He spoke of his dreams and discussed the stars
Even though he had little money
He actually turned out to be quite funny
When he looked into my eyes they would glisten
When I’d open my mouth he stopped talking to listen
Surprisingly he was quite gentle
And didn’t turn out to be the least bit mental
We talked of things from caviar to ramen
It turned out we had lots in common
We both liked Sex in the City and Friends
He was looking interesting, despite how he spends
He had creative ideas and a talent for art
Normally that would be a prerequisite to win over my heart
I had to be practical; a guy like him can’t be my spouse
Then he asked if I wanted to watch the VCD in his house
“I don’t want to walk to your house, I’m sure it’s too far”
He pulled out a cheap phone, “We won’t have to, I’ll call for my car.”
Then a Jaguar rolled up to us and he said, “Milady it’s time to embark –
“We’re going to go to my house in Forbes Park!”
My mind was going through a perceptive expansion
His house in Forbes Park was really a mansion!
There were 8 luxury cars parked in the front
That cheap date act was just a stunt!
The living room was exquisite and the TV set was large
Six maids were serving us - he certainly took charge
I asked him, “You live very well, why are you so low-key?”
He said, “I had to make sure you liked me for me.”
He put in the VCD and opened some wine
That’s when I knew I had to make him mine
I asked him what he does, he said, “I’m in the movie biz,
I’m in independent production, you know how it is.”
Whatever he did it obviously works
Marrying a man like him definitely has its perks
Suddenly he said, “You passed my test now I want to marry you.”
I was intoxicated with his wealth and said, “I want to marry you too!”
My heart was won and my search was done
I’ve looked for men up to my standards but there were none
When I first saw him, who knew?
And now my dreams are coming true!
Suddenly the police burst in all mad and irate
“You’re under arrest for being a video pirate!”
My dreams of wearing a wedding veil
Were shattered as they hauled my cheap date off to jail!
