The Load’s Prayer
Clark Steven Lupton
March 6, 2005
Lord, let there be unity and peace
Keep me safe while on the road
Eliminate world hunger
And please let me not run out of load
Because when I need to make an important call
And I have to use my cell phone
I wouldn’t know that I was almost empty at all
And when it happens I let out a groan
Reduce diseases and suffering
Let nobody be vexed
But above and most of all
Let me send that text
It makes me concerned
And makes the vein in my neck throb
That if I don’t answer their texts
They’ll think of me a snob
And it embarrasses me to make a call
When I have to borrow a friend’s cell
And I have no control
When his phone bill begins to swell
They say that I run out of load
Because of over use
Like calling and texting overseas
But that is no excuse
The use of my cell phone has nothing to do
With the oil output of Iraq
The simple matter is
I love to text, send pictures and yak
For example it would be awkward
If I had a date
But on my way to the bar I run out of load
And I can’t tell her I’ll be late
And then it turned out
That I liked her so much I glowed
But she’d be there all by herself
All because I ran out of load
And some other guy
Offers to buy her a drink
So she’d leave me for him
And I’d cope by seeing a shrink
And I’ll need to make calls in an emergency
Like in case I’m driving out of town
Then in the middle of the night
My car would suddenly break down
I would hate it if I were harmed
Or worse, if I’d end up dead in a graveyard
Just because I ran out of load
And had no extra card
But the more cards I have for my phone
The more I’ll use it
So no matter how much load I have
It’s as if I always lose it
You brought the locusts to Egypt and parted the Red Sea
Okay, so I get it
But couldn’t you also please just grant my phone
Three hundred pesos in credit?
Because if you don’t
I’ll have to beg, kill and rob
Or even worse, to buy cards
I’ll even have to get a job
So if it’s an emergency
Your blessed credit may save my life
And help me to contact the lady
Who could be my future wife
You could fill my phone with load
Until cards make my wallet swollen
But it might not even do my phone any good
Because it’ll most likely end up stolen!