"Pocket Change"

Pocket Change



It was Christmas Eve

was going to be a little different this year

Mom had pneumonia

among other crippling ailments

would be the first time ever

Mom's Christmas dinner

wasn't to be.



I still awoke with a smile that morning

many things to be thankful for

love, life, laughter, hope,

and my Christmas trip to the local grocery store

to see Raymond and share his great big smile

that in itself, if you knew him,

would be good enough for thanks.



I had ordered one of those pre-cooked Christmas dinners

only this year, two,

for the last six it had always been one

Raymond always loves his dinners at Christmas

and I always wear my shirt that says

"They Call Me Santa"

He gets a great big kick out of that

and I get a smile you cherish and never forget.



I always pull up to the east entrance

Raymond sits just outside the north exit

doesn't matter what time of the year

you find him there with his butt planted

on an orange painted parking bumper,

long brown overcoat

ripped in too many places

left sleeve cut almost all the way down

gray pants that needless to say

don't get washed much

black shoes with holes in the toes

and soles,

never any socks

but always that smile,

and his shopping cart with life's treasures

everything he owned and picked up daily

filling his basket.



It was just after 11am

our local Salvation Army was waiting for me

at the east entrance

I pulled out a dollar and put it in the bucket,

listening to him jangle his bell.

I went in and picked up our dinners

excited, anticipating that special smile.

I headed for the north exit

putting my hand in my pocket

that was our code

mine and Raymond's

I always walked out the door rattling my pocket

he would hear me and light up the world

with that smile

because no matter what time of the year

when I left that store

I rattled my pocket

and Raymond knew he was getting my pocket change.



Something was wrong

bad wrong

I could feel it in my gut

a sinking feeling

There was no Raymond,

anywhere.

I walked all the way around the building

even back through the store

maybe he was shopping with some kind people's donations

but no,

Raymond wasn't there.



I went to the manager,

they were kind to Raymond

letting him hang out there

he never harmed anyone

maybe she would know something,

she did.

Raymond didn't make it to the homeless shelter last night

he had stopped in an alley two blocks away,

Raymond slept with the Angels.



It's funny,

not in an comical way

but in the last six years

I spoke to Raymond every time I saw him

rattled my pockets all the time

but you know what,

I don't think he ever spoke one word to me,

but that man sure could smile.



I walked back around to the east entrance

went back up to the Salvation Army stand

emptied my pockets

said,

"This is from Raymond"

Got in my car

headed for home, when I realized

I still had two Christmas dinners,

so I took a right on Sears

another right on Myrick

pulled over to the homeless center

went and rang the bell.



A kind little lady named Mary answered the door

I told her even though Raymond wasn't with us anymore

in a way he still sent me here with this holiday dinner

to make sure his friends had plenty to eat.



You should have seen the smile on that little lady

you would have swore,

Raymond answered the door.



12-08-04

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Ruth Lovejoy's picture

just beautiful it brought tears to my eyes ,wonderful write!