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Fireman's last run
Folder:
everythin else " Dont worry kiddo we'll make it"
"thats my promise child, please take it"
Red flames will not sear your white rose face
"please come hold tightly" i could feel her lil' heart race
running through the smoke,i began to cough, choke and die
Searing tears running through my eye, we made it
Jumping out the frontdoor to the lawn, we made it
"come out child breathe again,its over"
"you made it like i said, no need for charms like clovers.
the little girl kissed my cheek and cried
This was my last moment before i layed to die
God thank you ,for protecting us through it to the end
Through it to the end
this poem is has so much feeling and it's like you really
lived it. So who or what is it really about? It would be
cool to know the story behind it. well good job...bye
S3 L1 "running through the smoke,i began to cough, choke and die" Get rid of something...just make it "I began to choke" or something. You went way over the top!
Last two lines:
"God thank you ,for protecting us through it to the end
Through it to the end"
Through it to the end doesn't sound right. Try either "through the end" or "to the end".
I love your many metaphors and all the figurative language. You really banged it out on this one...nice job!
yea well thanks but no thanks (about the shit)
I really liked this poem. It was really emotional and beautiful. I makes you think how frail human beings really are.And the herioc things people do to safe others.
wow. i really do like this one jamie. its so good and it rhymes some, which u kno i luv hehe.
this is so good and full of emotion, ec. great work jamie.
xoxo
ur maryboo