Once More Into The Breach

Folder: 
Jesus

Darkness is a happening
of contingencies prefigured by endless
upon endless dwellings of amassed pain, dejection and rejection.
A bleak recurrence that challenges the soul
to venture clear of the sorrow
which grasp certifies an overwhelming strength over him,
and grin as the eyes wander about the dust engulfed ascension to a mindset of excelling comfort,
an escapade that rivals calamity with miracle,
introducing what it takes to overcome the catacombs of heart,
and ultimately what it means to "survive".

The mind,
condemned
eclipsed and gloom,
told by forces, greater than
my stature
to battle the very essence that cripple my own shadow
limping behind me as I walk alone at the dying dawn of midday
and defend my livelihood
from the dark wraiths that besiege
my any happiness.
The facts that pity my digestion of thought:
remaining of lonesome, craving unceasingly for an angel
to just hold me as I cry
taking me away from my own shitty world
but
all this rambling perceives no meaning if
Loving her follows by the process of zero physical caress
so I am still here
left searching but finding___________

Although the prerequisite summons a reminiscing
notion, its occurrence is anything but welcome,
as the experience gained from the convicting lessons of death
are remembered, followed and is ever ill to meet short worth memory.
it is never to be forgotten
so the pain has came to visit us once more
but hopefully,

for only a small while.
and until
the darkness subsides
we are left to wonder once more...into the breach.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Let me know what you think

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Beavis's picture

You are a very talented

You are a very talented writer. I thought perhaps I might find something I could help you revise as we discussed but your works stand ready as they are and bear your individual mark very clearly. Great writing!

Obviously, you care deeply about what you write and your works are thoughtful, spiritual and intellectual. You have a unique voice and style. I don't want to sound like an English teacher, but go back and check punctuation and grammar. Your work is too intelligent and mature not to go back and get as close to perfect as you want it to be. I usually write with pen and paper , but post with an iPad, and the iPad will butcher my writing if I don't check it carefully.

Revisit your works from time to time and see if they say something new to you. Your poems have a unique voice and perspective, especially for such a young writer. Write! Write! Revise, edit and write some more!

I will continue to read your work and if I have some specific crit to offer, I will. Until then, please let me simply encourage you to continue your art!

GSNJSMJ's picture

Thank you that means a lot, I

Thank you that means a lot, I take a lot of pride in what others think and really appreciate you taking your time to lend your opinion
so thx and Ill try my best to keep dishing out interesting stuff


 

Ascesa e rialzarsi fino a quando gli agnelli diventano leoni

Rise and Rise again until Lambs become lions

Beavis's picture

Outstanding!

Your entire portfolio is amazing! You have a unique voice and talent, very insightful and spiritual. Keep writing!