Take a deep look in the eyes of this castaway
stranded, exiled, isolated.....
in my own little island not content enough for praise,
so I provide soliloquies for my own clarity
recording muddy visions of my own personality
tearing pages of my life's scriptures
into pieces I build within a frame of mind picture
I'm living within parenthesis in lower case letters and
whispering secrets to myself on how to efficiently survive
please excuse my forward manner
I've dealt with the heavily monotonous slander
of never being good enough to excel forward
insecurities become the tenants of my life
while the confidence get evicted
stranded, exiled, isolated.....
structures of finances built just to an end result
of not having shit
false pretenses of mild mannered snakes
awaiting to snuff me when I least expect them
just to be on my team or in the driver's seat
remnants of condemnation for choosing quality over quantity
maybe it's the sincerity in me
in looking out for other's first
call it a gift and a curse
cuz you truly couldn't see through my 2-way mirror
if you knew what side you were really on
For once I'd want my love to be a tax write off
when I'm able to give it freely without neglecting myself
stranded, exiled, isolated.....
now undergoing my 5th year of legal divorce
constantly asking myself.....
what smothered my direction when circumstances were minimal?
or to rephrase.....
why did I do it in the first place?
It's way too deep to depend on dependence
of emotion, so anxiety transforms to intelligence
and piece of mind becomes a mantle for independence
way of life is equivalent to forks in the road
knowing that if I take the right path, I still might be lost
And dysfunctionally speaking,
no one said it was going to be easy...
My swollen glands of constant digesting of
bitterness, sorrow, self-doubt and anxiety
all becomes healed as I provide a down payment
towards my happiness
I don't like second guessing, but I put my
one-foot-in-front-of-the-other method
as a timeless definition for "motivation."
S.O.S.
_________________
Damn. This was so hot. Very well written. I especially liked how you incorporated the IRS in this thing. Skillz.