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Beloved Gabriel
And there
is a light a few times throughout my day, but it is far off.
Something I can not reach. Something forbidden to me.
For months upon months
I would pray every night for god to give me some kind of terminal disease so that i didn't
have to have my own blood on my hands.
I suppose the darkness creeps back
in. There are so many things that do not make sense to me.
Things fail to add up.
Things topple and fall.
And I reach again and again....
forbidden light and love
the sun of my soul
but you are gone.
This poem you wrote reminds
This poem you wrote reminds me of how I used to feel. I always wrote about "the light" and the "darkness" I know exactly what you mean and I know how it feels to feel alone and to suffer inside and to deal with depression. It's something I dealt with for so many years. I wish you love and happiness.