Beloved Gabriel

And there
is a light a few times throughout my day, but it is far off.
Something I can not reach. Something forbidden to me.
For months upon months
I would pray every night for god to give me some kind of terminal disease so that i didn't
have to have my own blood on my hands.
I suppose the darkness creeps back
in. There are so many things that do not make sense to me.
Things fail to add up.
Things topple and fall.
And I reach again and again....

forbidden light and love
the sun of my soul

but you are gone.

allayna82's picture

This poem you wrote reminds

This poem you wrote reminds me of how I used to feel. I always wrote about "the light" and the "darkness" I know exactly what you mean and I know how it feels to feel alone and to suffer inside and to deal with depression. It's something I dealt with for so many years. I wish you love and happiness.