Jamai Shasti

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Jamai Shasti

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May I confide .. I miss Bern. Long since I've heard from him on FB or PP. Anyway, I hope he is well. The custom of "Jamai Shasti" may be also aptly named "Son-in-Law's Day" This custom or culture is perhaps confined to West Bengal.Who knows. I'm too lazy right now to do Internet Travel. In any case what do I care ... Both my parents-in-law are dead long ago so Jamai Shasti Day makes me feel a little wistful. But I can't turn back time.

From my scanty knowledge may I paint a picture of this interesting day which this year was on Friday 10th June.My cook & maid both took a day's leave on the occasion. Actually , I've not written prose for quite some time so maybe it is something like a pendulum. From past to present & back.Okay.. here I pick up the nice shiny pointed nail & a nice strong handled hammer. Hit !!!!

In the 40's Son in laws sometimes went to their in-laws in bullock carts with their saree clad wives and small children. Let me try to tell you what they carried with them. A huge earthen pot of curd, plenty of home-made sweets, fruits of the season, one or two huge fish & a set of clothes for the entire family at the in-laws. It was quite taxing on the part of the son-in-law [ women didn't work in 1940's] The clothes of the couple & their children were stiff with new starch & very very uncomfortable in the hot sweaty Bengal summer.

Thatched mud house welcomes them with brass tumblers of cool drinking water accompanied by a mound of home-made sweets & over two pounds of fruits. The wife has in the meantime scurried indoors and having a good time. Her starched hubby sits stiff trying to engage in polite conversation with the mother who frequently smelt of betel-nuts and cheap scent. Yes. She has taken care to wash herself well in the village pond & dressed nicely for the occasion. The "son" is treated like a VVIP. As you know postcards were the only communication in the 40's and many were missed in transit.So this is the time when a plethora of news & gossip is shared by all & sundry.

Lunch... a huge mound of steaming rice with oodles of ghee,fried hilsa fish eggs, hilsa fish, jumbo prawn curry, a huge head of fist followed by spicy curried mutton & mango chutney. Lunch was incomplete without sweet curd & sweets. A long post lunch siesta followed. Dinner was luchis and mutton curry with ripe mangos & a tall glass of cow's milk. Breakfast of jack-fruit & puffed rice & the couple is on their way back home.

2016.. Friday is a working day. The lunches are scheduled for Sunday afternoon at reputed hotels preceeded by alcoholic drinks.Food is often Chinese, Thai,Continental, Moglai including the flesh of all edible creatures. The couple and their in-laws meet at the hotel itself dressed in suits and sarees. Gifts are exchanged. Lunch eaten & the whole "occasion" is over in two hours. Something like a surgical procedure which has to be done to keep relationships healthy.

Author's Notes/Comments:

Cultures do evolve over time but bishu never changed

India is a culturally rich land. Many amazing festivals are celebrated here of which the citizens have not even heard about. A beautiful festival called ‘Jamai Shasti’ is celebrated in Kolkata which displays beautiful bonding of son-in-law with his in-laws. The traditional festival of Jamaishasthi originated ages ago as a part of a women's socio-religious duty. The son-in-law is called 'Jamai' and 'Shasti' means sixth, thus the festival is observed on sixth day of shukla paksh in Jyestha month of traditional Hindu calendar.

This popular social custom lays foundation of a strong family bonding. All the son-in-laws get a treat from his in-laws or 'Shoshur bari'. The day is celebrated since older days by the Hindu families all over West Bengal. A party is organized the in-laws for their daughter and her husband.

Mother-in-laws cook special dishes and invite their daughter and Sons-in-law to honor them with a feast that essentially consists of Hilsa fish. The son-in-law is welcomed by his in-laws in traditional way with a "phota" of curd on his forehead and a yellow thread is tied on the right hand wrist and forehead. The thread is coloured yellow with turmeric and is called ‘Shashti Suto’ which have blessing of Ma Shashti who takes care of children. Son-in-law is presented gifts, sweets and fruits and he too gives gifts to the mother-in-law. Then mother-in-law performs the ritual in which a plate having six fruits is touched with the Jamai’s forehead.

The day is observed as Aranya Sasthi in many other regions. The festival plays vital role in bringing the couple especially the son-in-law (Jamai) closer to the in-law family, thus helps in making family ties safe and sound. Bengalis are famous for their love for food. After performing the rituals a small feast is organized. Best and favourite delicacies of one’s son-in-law are prepared. The guests are then served exotic Bengali dishes. Various fish delicacies, prawn malaikari and the most famous Bengali sweet ‘Sandesh’ are a must. The mother-in-law fanned her son-in-law with a palm leaf while he gorges on his food.

Son-in-laws are the centre of everybody’s attention on the day. He thoroughly enjoys and loves the attention he is getting from his in-laws. The social activity was more intense in earlier times.

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