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Youth Dreams.

This might seem like a load of rubbish written by a small boy. I have wanted to write this story a long time ago but this was not possible it is now in my old age that I am able to afford the equipment. Such as Computer and Internet connections plus the Writing program Word. I really can recommend this program and do so a few times in the course of this story.

Went to bed at seven o’clock in the Medway Cottage Homes in Chatham, Kent, Great Britain. To say I hated the place would be lying I did not know any other place to compare it with. This story is not about the Cottage Homes as it was commonly called by all of its inmates both boys and girls. Should that be Girls and Boys, please excuse such mistakes, I had a good education at the Balfour Road School right next to the Cottage Homes, It was out of the gates after the Matron’s School Days Inspection had taken place. We kids hated these inspections the Bitch of a Woman that called herself Matron looked in the ears of the kids often picking on one of the kids that for some reason she personally had taken a disliking to.

Any person on seeing this so called inspection could easily after a few inspections seen the type of kid that I often suspected had seen a childhood such as she herself had gone through. I could never find out of course whether she had also been brought up in a So Called Cottage Home. But she knew all of the tricks that we kids in the homes had built up to protect ourselves from some of the bad beatings that we all or so it seemed, went through. No child ever applied to see the Matron, the story had made the rounds that she told the children whose Parents had been killed in a car crash that her or his Parents had been drinking heavy before they got back in their car to drive home, this and other stories that were told to get the children putting the blame for other peoples deaths on their own beloved parents. I personally have heard many such made up stories so that the kids went through what this bitch of a woman went through most of her life. Strangely enough it was the Nineteen Thirty-nine outbreak of war that got me personally out of this HOMES WAY OF THINKING. The Homes were evacuated first to Whitstable in Kent, Later down to South Wales. Most of us Homes children were taken in by the citizens of Whitstable and later in Glamorgan the county that took the evacuees into their homes in South Wales. The boys were sent to Tonyrefail and the girls about fifteen miles apart in a Town called Gilfach Goch. Most of the children were given a home that knew love and kindness and most grew up without committing any crime. Some of the others did not know this kindness and quite a few of the boys and girls were sent to Prisons or Borstal Institutions and yes I was one that went through the run of First probation term then First Borstal Institution on the Isle of White. It was at Rochester Borstal that I pulled myself together. I was not going to spend the rest of my life in Prison. I was now at the age where with a background of crime one was not even considered for a probation sentence it was now Prison.

Then the New Start in my Life, I met a young Pretty Austrian Girl. I decided that I would put all of the facts of my life that I had lived in the past to her and see if she would be able to put all that behind her and take me for what I am now a decent reliable citizen with a good job and the promise of a life not of luxury but of honesty and decency. I am now well over eighty and have kept my promises made all those years ago to this in my eyes most Beautiful Austrian Girl that I met on that fateful day in Dartford Park. If you have made it this far then I have hopes that you will continue reading this my confession if you will. Certainly a true story that could be matched by many others in this Grand Old Country of Britain.

I wanted to call this Part Two but that would have meant that I could not remain honest in my writing. In my thoughts crime still played a big role. Stealing had I must admit to myself remained a part of my life. No I was not committing any crimes but they were always in some hidden part of my brain always waiting to pop up out of the blue.

Fortunately I was given a job selling car parts, It was interesting work and I got to know many of my regular customers and as I had always been keen on cars I had learned many tricks to help customers that wanted or needed help to build in the new part bought in my shop. These satisfied customers spread the word around and for a change the owners that had their main shop in Vienna and a few other car spare parts shops over other parts of Austria. With these other shops I was not well liked and quite a few would not send their spare parts to my shop so that I could sell them.

Then the time of my early retirement I have become ill with the Parkinson’s disease I was sent into early retirement now came a period in my life where all was involved with medication what tablets to be taken at what times of the days and then those tablets for getting a good nights sleep. I had a session of madness or what I took to be madness. No thoughts of kindness just a mad jumble of confused thinking in fact a period of utter confusion. Then of my going to see a Doctor and telling him of some of my nightmares and terrible dreams, This Doctor asked me if I could put my nightmares in writing and let him read them. A few days later I had written thirteen of my nightmares down on paper and given them to my Doctor. He read with interest of my nightmares experiences and then confused me even more. Mr. Shaw you have a poetic streak why do you not sit down and write. I was utterly confused me write. What can I write about? It was his words that got me writing I started writing poems first fun poetry then words of love poems for my lovely Wife. Poetry seemed to have hidden itself possibly through the treatment in the Medway Cottage Homes, but once I got started I could not stop. Poem followed poem all are to be found on the Internet. Aha poems by Bernard Shaw and many more. I now got to thinking and the words of my Doctor came back into my head. You have a life behind you write about your life. This is the third attempting the first write up I could not be honest what would people say about a criminal that had spent many years in remand homes awaiting trials in a Court of Law. Then my two Borstal Periods or Juvenile Prisons, my desertion from the Army and my first real Prison Sentence Six months in Canterbury Prison in Kent Southern England. I was given some advice from one of the other young prisoners applying to see the Prison Governor and ask for the army to send an officer to dismiss me from the Army. I was given a railway ticket to my hometown and decided that no more criminal activities for me I was never going into a Prison again. Now at eighty six this story that I have written does not seem to be a true picture of my. I was never in my life violent. I made it a point never to steal from family or friends and I have never stolen from any of the places where I have worked. I am not asking for pity or sympathy just perhaps a little understanding. If My Mother had not died of Tuberculosis and my father not being able to look after six children I would have had another upbringing. I would have been brought up in an atmosphere of love.
For those of you that come across this story by chance, try not to judge too hard. I did my punishment and have really regretted my criminal instincts. Bern