I am everything you hate

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Family

You once said you loved me

But your words tell a different story

Daddy do you really know me

Did you ever take fifteen minutes

To ask me



Daddy, did you know that I am everything you hate?

Daddy, I’ve tried to hide myself

Put on the masks

But in time I’ve learned

The more I play your games

The more of me that dies

The more I want to die



But in time I have learned

That I indeed want to live

And that your thoughtless words

I choose to no longer let them keep me captive

And I can now look at my reflection

And I can now dream my own dreams

And I can now be free of guilt



But, daddy more importantly

I can tell you the truth of who I am

And I am everything you hate



Daddy, I don’t believe in Jesus or god

I faked that too

Daddy, I worship the Goddess

I celebrate the changing of the seasons and of the moon

Daddy, I don’t believe in sin, Satan, or salvation

Daddy, to you, I’m a heathen, witch, and an idolater

A sinner deserving of hell fire, brimstone, judgment,

and eternal punishment in the lake of fire



Daddy, I don’t like guns

I think gun control is good



Daddy, I hate war

I think peace is possible



Daddy, I like the Earth

I think she ought to be protected



Daddy, I like piercing and tattoos

I think they can make someone beautiful and unique



Daddy, I’m pro-choice

I think women are smart enough to make decisions about their bodies



Daddy, I like marijuana

I think they ought to legalize it



Daddy to you, my mind is so open my brains fell out

Daddy to you, I’m un-American, a freak, a tree hugger, a baby killer, and a pot head

Daddy, go ahead and say it, “Danielle, pull your head out of your ass.”



Daddy, I am a lesbian

I’ve been in love with women, dated some, and made love to a few

Daddy, I love the way women look, they are beautiful

And, I like the they kiss

Daddy, I love the feel of women’s skin on my own

And, the feel of their breasts

And, the way they make me quiver, and the way they respond to my touch

Daddy, I also want to marry a woman and have a family with her

Daddy, to you I’m vile, a faggot, a dyke, a sodomite



I cry sometimes, cause daddy, don’t you see

I am everything you hate

See, daddy, I’ll admit I’m wrong sometimes

And, daddy you are wrong sometimes too



Daddy, I wish you could feel how I feel

Daddy, I want to make you cry

Make you listen

Daddy, when you say those mean words

I want you to feel as hurt and vulnerable as I do



Daddy, there have been times I’ve wanted to bash your face in

And to kick you in the balls

Daddy, I want you to feel disgusting every time I look at you

I want to make you feel like dying

Daddy, I want make fun of you

And, daddy I want to tell you, “Go to hell, you mother fucking ass hole!”

Daddy, I want to be able to call you daddy

And, daddy most of all I want to make you love me

Author's Notes/Comments: 

A poem to my father, all the things I wish I could tell him.

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Ang B's picture

wow. touched. i definitely have something similar to this with a few differences... my house is a house with my mom + 7 other people and people who visit often. my father is someone who is the opposite of me and who lives in a different state. This poem almost brought me to tears. very very good job.

Katherine's picture

I know the pain you conjur through these words. I feel them suffocate my skin. Choking me like they do you. Similar paths colliding.

I love the way yuo express yourself. I am truly amazed.

Matthew H's picture

Hey Dani, its matthew :D. I have always loved the words you have to say and especially something were you just put your total self on the line. I also love the approch you took with this, kinda the jab and turn approch well Hope to hear more soon hun