my train wreck

Folder: 
Hyacinth garden

Troubled life, brain is growing but not in positive direction

I can’t wait for the results from the gray matter disection

Hey! What’s this you are a genius under further inspection

Too bad no one recognized you while you were alive

It is all the same

No one feels the shame

They all think cause you feel

that you are some kinda lame

misfit

or worse

don’t feel that way

keep feeling all that you are

embrace your own way

welcome to my train wreck

my subtle jokes won’t cut it

my somber introspective moment

I can’t tug at your heart

If you don’t really care too care



I am a shapeless klutz of cliched feeling

me and my dreary dialogue and anguished fables

Stories of  abuse

what is the use

it only happened to me

I have no choice

I find a way to rejoice

without really making a scene

I tried bizarre spiritual beliefs

a happy-ending story about overcoming adversity

But you want to know the truth

I am not loved

not ever

oh yes I was

only by myself

And I know my love is real

but it does not count

it is not shared

it is not left

it is not right

if it is nowhere

I have nothing to offer but these words

My head hurts so bad

and

the NY TIMES would not recognize

any body like me

so let me alone

with this dread of my own

like she said dying is an art

and I am out for my last fifteen minutes of fame

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Sharon Wunsch's picture

If you feel, you're a misfit. The person you like doesn't care to care. No one loves you except you.
Most of your poem is understandable. But "let me alone...I'm out for my last 15 minutes of fame"?? Am I failing to grasp your subtlety, or is this seeming contradiction too personal for a stranger to understand?