i sit and wait for more weights to crack and fall off of me.
i'm waiting for my skin to peel so i can face the fact this isn't real.
i've only done what i thought i was supposed to do.
i've only tried for what i thought i was supposed to try for.
nothing less and nothing more.
i've made these faces fade
they're better left blank.
these memories erased
i didn't want this on my slate.
i've chosen these knives that have made their way into me.
sometimes the person you know isn't who? isn't who you see.
what it once was, it never will be again.
it never should have been to begin with.
maybe i'll see more with eyes closed
then i wanted to with them opened.
seems once you have it, you'll wish you hadn't.
for what's ripe on the outside is rotten on the in.
_____________________________
who ought to sense zest?
denmark then marked an onion union.
in maine, a paint-stained plane!
the cream cheese he sees in freeze-frame.
the tall dentist calls for small tennis balls
made in someone's eye without asking.
oh say, can they stay in a mayonaise maze?
might a bright white light beam fight iced tea?
still, positions are filled by physicians until...
_____________________________________
i didn't want any of this
constricted by routine with no identity any longer
all faceless and useless
a waste, this, i didn't choose it
no longer a pawn now. no longer a prisoner.
concealing the ceilings from seeing me
like leaving the feeling alive over time.
i'm thinking of leaving tonight, no surprise
________________________________________
have you seen the city?
the city in silence
sinking of eyelids
ending age of violence
a walk on the wire
through the falling fire
she's chewed up a clock
now the time's in her tubes
_______________________________________
been looking for the empty places
between the wrecked and stained
even if i could find your name
beyond a chance it'd stay the same
too far gone yet it pushes on
why do i keep holding on
it's always slipped
i've never lived
cutting all the corners off
wonder why i'm left with a circle