I can see the morning light peering through my curtains of my once all black room, Its my reminder to maybe I should get some rest. I am so overwhelmed with emotions and I guess I could say shock to even get to the kitchen and take my Paxidal, Witch is to help me sleep without getting any reoccurring nightmares. I must say It is definitely helps. I take it every night, it never even crossed my mind to ever miss a day because I was so afraid at what I may encounter in my dreams. I have been taking in ever since rehab. I figured it was working so why bother to mess with it.
Well I seemed to sleep fine. . I slept like a rock for a good eight hours. Its about five p.m. I have work in two hours, and no one is home as usual. I don't cling on to daylight that much. Only time I really go anywhere is to go work at the local supermarket. I can't say I typically enjoy my job. But, it keeps me busy twenty hours a week. I usually work nights. and stock. I hate encountering people, it works most of the time. But, I seem to not shake this quirky girl named Meg, that comes in the same time everyday I work. Its obvious she is interested in me, or why the hell would she come to my work everyday just to talk for about half hour. I actually came to enjoy her company. Since it seems I don't have a choice in the matter. My boss actually noticed the situation and the same time everyday he sends me on break, knowing meg will often show up with some type of cookies for us to eat for the next few moments. Well its Ten thirty again. I better punch out knowing that my "stalker" will be here with some munchies for me to snack on. Well here she comes, I better put on my pseudo-happy face.
Meg is a slender girl with light brown hair, green eyes. She has this quirky attitude that even tho she comes in and invades my privacy and makes me take my break early I just can't hate her. We share a few things in common, She loves to bake. I love to eat. She always flips through my Ipod during break and listens to things she has never heard of. Most of the time, hating it. It makes me laugh, she is a full blown country girl. She came in today in a red flannel shirt with skin tight jeans and the same pair of Adidas everyday. She never puts on a ton of make up. A natural Beauty. I must say, I would probably hate her if she wasn't so easy on the eye's. I just don't get what she sees in me. Her being a country girl and all, Isn't it a requirement That I own a giant lifted truck, only to never wash it. I swear the dirtier the truck. The more the girls here come running.Personally I don't get it at all. I like to be clean.
"Hey whats up Avril? Long Time no see." meg says in her always uppity voice.
Sigh, same line everyday, She calls me Avril because I once blurted out at work to a fellow co worker that I found Avril Levine overly attractive. She over heard and I never here the end of it. On top of that. Long time? I saw here Friday. Its now only Sunday. ...Good old Meg.
"Whats up, Meg? get done, cuttin down some lumber? (referring to her flannel)
"Oh, good one. It's Abercrambie. And I think its cute, You do too."
"A flannel Is a flannel." I just snap back wittingly.
"oh shut up, I brought some cookies, No bakes in fact."
"you obviously know me too well" as I already grab a handful.
"What you do yesterday? we were supposed to go to the meadow and spend some time together, Thanks for ditching me, a call of been nice."
I am stumped in what to tell her, I possibly can't tell her the truth about the voice mail. I never even told this girl I ever went to rehab. Let alone really anything besides my love of music. I blown her off every Saturday for the past six months. She still is surprised I didn't give her a call back? . I swear women don't pay attention to detail at all.
"I...I had something come up, I had to take care of."
This is the worst response ever, out of all I could of lied about and have her believe this what I end up saying. I am an idiot.
"Well...Like what."she looks at me puzzled knowing something is up.
"I don't know" I say with a sigh as I scratch my head due to the voice mail still playing in my head.
Well I screwed this up beyond repair I can already tell.
"well, Its obvious you were with someone else, You could have told me instead of lead me on wasting time here with you everyday.
You don't even have the decency to try and explain these things to me? Well forget it then"
She rips the cookie out of my hand and take the rest of the plate with her. storming off. I know she won;t be back tomorrow. I didn't even say anything to try and stop her. Well looks like I really screwed up this one.
I finish off my shift and come home, and once again just lay in bed staring at my ceiling numb of all emotion.
I don't even bother taking my Paxidal tonight either. I feel as If I just want to give up on everything. It now dawning on me that I really actually enjoyed the breaks I had with Meg. I never admitted it to myself. But I really liked her. She was easy, fun loving and made amazing cookies. I was actually just afraid to get close to her. Well there is an end to everything. She isn't coming back.
I lose track of time and drift into sleep, I dream tonight. I have a dream, more of a nightmare but it definitely is frightening.