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The White Knight Who Didn't Think Twice
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DaddyO's BDSM by DaddyO
Spreading false accusations about another person who tells you not to, has just turned you into a consent violator.
And due to the graveness of the rumor, you've sullied another's reputation and created a victim; a victim you are now blaming for committing a despicable action.
Congratulations!
You've become both a consent violator and victim blamer; two people you claim to abhor.
The biggest problem with mislabeling people as predators, rapists and consent violators are that rumors get spread by people without ever going to the source.
A person getting falsely accused has no recourse other than to vocalize their side of the story publicly (which is viewed as "dragging the victim through more pain") or blanket denial, which doesn't hold up to scrutiny without the opportunity to describe the detailed nuances contained within any private matter such as this.
Whispers under ones breath spread from ear to ear, and phrases like "he prefers to date women younger than himself" transform into "he's a pedophile" quite quickly.
Awkwardly laughing at a rape joke makes one a rape apologist, then after two more people spread the news, he magically becomes a rapist, even though all he's done is relayed an inappropriate joke.
Just as it's possible to support BOTH police officers and also believe black lives matter, it is possible to think rape and consent violations are wrong, AND spreading false accusations and rumors are wrong.
Someone who chose to spread rumors about me when I sent a private message to them, quickly replied "telling your side of the story" wouldn't be of any use because they had already made up their mind, quickly comparing me to Bill Cosby.
Of course the difference between my situation and Mr. Cosby's is he has had countless women come forward with actual allegations. I've had only two false accusations, yet countless people WHO I'VE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO TELL MY SIDE OF THE STORY TO believe them and continue to spread false rumors.
And you, by spreading them along and refusing to ask me questions, are adding to that population. You're indeed ALSO relaying an inappropriate joke.
Changing our culture to one that blames blindly is not going to eliminate our rape culture anymore than being blind to the realities of rape will.
Rape is gravely serious, and therefore it is even more important that the truth is known and all sides are represented before accepting any declarations of innocence, or making accusations of guilt.
