DILUTED REVERIE

Folder: 
JOURNAL #13

with lady like reverie

I spend what is left of my meager

comeuppance on one small fret

that was the last to flee

a dead brainstorm lost forever to

a churningly unsympathetic sea

in capable of finding within itself

even a pail full of glory from days

long since gone

to where

such loss constantly haunts me

tossed in a sinister cauldron of

greedy disdain

and left there to sulk and spawn

out of this mess that I have labeled

as confused thought

I scream inside myself alright!

enough! tres bon!

my lesson I have been taught

this is what I wanted

yes

riddance of the gaining grief

such pain only slashed out

the wrists

she never fueled any real desire

of the thief

the true thief was in in the roll of

a nine

her crimes were innocent when compared

to mine

when she was fevered unlike me

she never pretended she could when she

could not see

she allowed the sickness to boil up

inside and outward to be seen

where as any real deviate knows no

adequate method of coming clean

blame lies on the ground now with a

gun to my already near mutilated head

laughing aloud at everything

would have been alright had we listened

to what the councilor said

yes indeed had we listened

no for thought nor blood would have been

wastefully shed.......................

(Dec. 18, 1994 pm)




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