REMOVING THE MASK OF FRIENDSHIP

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JOURNAL #20

you mark my whispers

with the wicked wet trail

of your clever tongue

yet make light of fibs I once told

just to get your heated attention

you smile tenderly

when I bury my embarrassed face in

the solid comfort of your always

offered shoulder

and nibble affectionately at my fingers

when I become far too playful to be on

public display

such care took me by surprise

I didn't exactly want you to be The One

I mean that wasn't suppose to be in the cards

I thought you were meant to be my sweet tender

buddy

some sort of better than a big brother

the best male friend that I never before ever

had

the voice of reason that slaps my conscience

whenever I am bad

that is your role

not my lover

and yet

now I can hardly stop myself

from thinking about you

what do you think about when you are making love

what do you look like when you are sleeping

how do you treat a woman you are in love with

what makes your breath catch

your palms sweat

your heart pound

and here you are

sitting right here beside me

and you don't even have the vaguest clue

so how can I ask you

my objective trusted confidant

just what it is that I should do

when all I want to do is kiss you

I'm so on my own in this laughable madness

I'm not sure if I like it or you for that

matter

for letting this become just what it has

a fearful step into the void of the unknown

tonight

at this very moment

I can't help but wonder

just where is your heart in all this

though fearfully confused

still I pray

please let it not be in the palm of another

more foolish woman's hand

I couldn't take that blow just yet

in my fear silently I ask

give this fledgling love time to grow

precious and dear newly discovered heart

and for your kind patience

I shall weave joy into the incredible web of

our already highly cherished unique friendship.......

(May12,1999)






Author's Notes/Comments: 

this sounds like such a real poem but believe it or not it came from a romance novel I read where the guy and girl were good friends for a great many years and the girl moved away when she came back she saw the guy in a far different light. I put myself in her place what it would be like to have a good male buddy and to fall in love with him and how I would react to such realization. I think it turned out pretty well. It reads as such a real poem but from some of the wording I can tell I pulled some of those ideas from that story I had read. Just wish I could recall the title. It was such a darn good book for being a cheesy Harlequin 186 page romance and all.

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