The Failing mission

Trying to Overcome the failing mission
letting it all go
telling myself not
to get another pack
but...
somehow it's always there
calling me back

Just one more
just another one before bed
"you'll quit tomorrow"

My hand reaches
grabs for the pack thrown across the floor
without hesitation

I pull one out of a white and green box
perch it between my lips
and light it up

my lungs breathe in
my lungs breathe out
the tip gets brighter, then dims
before i know it
it's at its end
watching it burn itself out
into the filter it bleeds

the time spent smoking
is short lived
the temporary fix is over
just as fast as it started with the first hit

the mess of my life returns
of scattered thoughts
watching it all spin around me
taking a the moment to take it all in
i just want to scream
trying grasp and understand

realizing no matter what it is
it can't be fixed with a cigarette
and with each hit
a little bit more life
is burned out

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