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The recall
“The most heartbreaking situation in your life is one you will always remember. Every time you recall it, you remember how you felt when it has happening, how sad you felt at that moment, and whatever you do, every time you remember that moment, you will always feel the same. Think about this moment in your young lives.” This is what Ms. Rose told as her class was starting. “That’s some big pile of bull.”, I told myself with a heavy sigh, as Ms. Rose continued to give her class, a class that took two full hours that I could be using in order to do something more productive, because by the end of the year, I would have wasted more than 60 hours of my life in a class that shouldn’t exist.
And why start a class like this? In what way or form can thinking of an awkward moment will help me in my life, I’m just remembering things I wish I could forget instead of moving on as most people do, why fall back to that moment all over again? Does Sarah ever think about it? Or is she trying to forget as much as I try to? Maybe she has better luck forgetting than I do.
“Mr. Mayfield, are you still with us?” Ms. Rose asked me. “Yes teacher, I’m paying attention.” 30 minutes has passed since the class started and Ms. Rose asked us to remember our heartbreaking moment, and I’ve managed to spend all of it thinking about it, exactly the opposite of what I wanted to do. Still, how did everything end so badly? We met a year or two ago, and everything felt so right when I was with her, at what point did everything ended up so bad?
I know exactly when it all went south. She started to talk less and less with me, to the point where we spent days without knowing of each other. When I figured out what could be happening, I talked with her, and it turned out I was right. She told me it was already done, and the only explanation given was “She was not ready to have a family, not now.” The moment she told me, those were the worst five minutes of my life, only compared to what came next, as she told me that she was moving to the other side of the country, and when I asked if we were going to continue to see each other, she responder saying “If it all goes right, we won’t see each other ever again.”
It has been a couple months now since I last heard of her, and even more since I last saw her, and she left me with all this questions. Does she regret doing it? What could it have been if she did not do it? Will she ever return?
“Mr. Mayfield are you going to share your moment with the class?” asked Ms. Rose, and immediately after everyone turned their face to me. “Not likely, no.” I answered. “If you don’t, you’re going to fail this course.” As she told me this, I grabbed my things and left the room, I always hated this class anyway.
