I’ve always wanted
to get deported from a country.
I always had designs
on getting myself booted
from some small sovereign country.
I mean I never wanted
to anything really bad.
I don’t want to hurt anyone
or destroy any property.
I just want to do something
to the authorities to toss me.
I’d want it to be something funny
like maybe hitting on
the president’s wife
or something harmless.
Then I would be led to a bus
at gunpoint
and provided passage
to the border.
I’d be like,
“Woo Hoo!
Free bus fare to the border!"
It would make for great press
in the local papers
and it would surely silence
all the critics who predicted
I would never amount to anything.