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ThoughtShock: A Manifesto Chapter 15
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ThoughtShock 'A Personal Conversation'
Matthew Wayne
By the grace of the divine. Felt deceived when I ran out of time. So much I wanted to say but kept it sealed and locked away. Who could I fool? The demons wanted out to play. I close my eyes and search for any reason why I should remain sane.
Fear rules over our minds controlling our hearts.
No longer do we trust our neighbors, brother or sister. Can no longer trust myself when deep down there brews something sinister. Locking ourselves behind closed doors to decay even faster. It is a choice to remain ignorant. A sense of security within that bliss. Waking from that dream into this nightmare with just one kiss, while you reach out for anyone who might be there. The illusion is fading does anyone even care? Trust is now a fable, a whisper across the table.
gets passed down the line. Hungry mouths,
with all the starving faces
where the chaos brings in the tease.”
now follow me as I know you are just a little slow.
What is out there, is also found within
and this ride is just about to begin.
The Dead Poet
Just how far are you willing to take this?
Destroying your soul, standing before your own abyss.
Simply close your eyes, now make your wish.
“In this illusion is there really such a thing as luck?”
In the war zone I shall die,
glory to be had on the battlefield as I fall
there is power in truth, victory over the lie.
A child once in fear, now we all stand tall.
Damien Nosferatu
You are caught within a web built from their lies. It is the circle of life as you struggle just to survive but everything eventually dies. We are creatures of habit where we allow our emotions to run rabid. We are a disease as we spread, devouring everything that is in eye sight. As this theater of life plays on in our head. We suffer with your ignorance to the plight where you gave up before the war started. Shit got hard so you simply departed. Afraid and unsure, so now the whole experience is nothing but a blur.
Dare not speak out for fear of the reprise.
Are we dead, or are we alive?
Could it be an illusion all in my head?”
Written in blood, it will be our journey through the nine hells.
The past it will be our future, the future is our past
it seems to be a concept no one can grasp.”
The Dead Poet
Where I no longer recognize my own reflection in the mirror.”
I find myself often repeating the same mistakes over and over again, as if I had forgotten the lesson. The same trials will soon begin. I will fight against the current, my goal will be to survive the irony. To numb the pain and to be free. Once more within the throws of addiction. Drawn to this vice for a reason. I search for an escape from this vary reality that you help manifest, that you create. Slowly over time it transforms into a security line. Days and weeks blend merging as one. The world I had built around myself begins to melt. The deed has been done. I will slowly wake to a world that no longer feels real. I bartered with the devil and signed the deal.
Damien Nosferatu
I have a secret to share,
it is not a pretty white lie,
it will make your faith run dry.
For I wanna die like Jesus Christ.
Be the martyr for your ultimate heist.”
I have sat alone in the dark wishing to die.
I have whispered a forgotten name.
I have even played this forsaken game.
Russian roulette with my own soul.
The devil said I could not be saved,
reserved me a seat in hell next to the depraved.
This is my reality, not just any illusion
questioning my sanity, by the barrel of this gun.
Question everything, for I speak in tongues.
