As I lay searching for something within
Im reminded how wrong one can be
I begin to remember all the times I wish I didn't
All the screaming matches
All the fists soaring through the air
as if those very fists weren't the matches that lit the blaze
the blaze that changed my life forever
you left by choice
I was forced
it wasn't healthy, CPS said, to raise kids like that
I watched you drink yourself into a monstrous oblivion
ruining your family with every last sip
when you were sober the never-ending circus of insults began
no matter how small or how "funny" you thought you were
I searched endlessly for the humanity within you
it seemed lost in translation
for actions speak louder then any intention
any intention you could've possibly had