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~Being Observed~
Sometimes, I see so clearly through my daughter's eyes,
it's as though needing a mirror has become somehow obsolete~
~She penetrates the hiding places with inquisitiveness,
& the truth of things I never knew about myself
suddenly decides
it's time to just come out to play~
Sometimes, in her rebellion, I'm face to face with my own,
my independant, stubborn need to remain in control,
but she is not like me, she doesn't justify that mess,
she see's the pain it causes...
...it causes her to confess,
...& as she's freed, I see the need
to humbly follow her lead...
Sometimes, in my trembling, I deny I'm afraid,
as sleep is robbed, & torment is hounding me
she somehow knows
that I, too, am learning to walk by faith, & not by sight,
& I, too, fear the darkness
chasing me through my longest nights~
~our nightlight is our Saviour,
& our prayers bring the dawn~
Sometimes, I'm in awe at what being a mother does
to all the places in me still needing His healing touch,
One by one, they're drawn into the light of His sweet love
pouring through the vessel He sent to me from above~
I know yesterday's wounds are just scabs & scars, & still,
it's only when we come daily to the river & drink our fill
that we are healed in every way, free to be led & used,
it breaks my heart to think my girl's heart has,
by me, been bruised~
Living the crucified life is many times every day
laying down our resistance to doing things His way,
why does it get so complicated,
when we know His way is always best?
I only know right now I'm committed to daily invest
my love, my prayer, my time into her,
& He will do the rest~
~By Anastazia Rowe~
~Oct 29th, 2004~
