we are ok

Just Checking In

I visited your grave today. It’s been a while, I’m sorry for that. It’s diffiuclt to do so. Memories are hard sometimes. Life has so many twists and turns and things are coming at you from every direction. Sometimes you don’t know what to do and you find solitude in places like a grave. What a great connection. I miss you. We had a long talk you and I. About the kids and why you had to die. I thought of you, tears streaming from my eyes. Happy thoughts of you made me cry. I’m glad I was able to know & love you. You weren’t perfect but you were beautiful. At times I need your direction and your smile, your way of showing affection. I miss you now that you are in another place.

I’ve learned about myself you know. Learned how to take the hard stuff and how to grow. How to find the good in the bad things, the happy in the sad things, the life in the lifeless things… in the things that are gone. Preserving what’s good by persevering through the hard times. How to smile when you don’t want to and how sometimes it seems to make most things feel all right.


Life is a beautiful struggle. I learned this from you. It tries to bend us and break us, mold us and make us but we decide whom we are and what we will be. The choice is ours and we have come so far. I will not break, there is too much at steak here. I choose an existence full of life. You know? Remembering is such a beautiful terrible gift at times. I prefer to find the beauty in it.

We are truly a part of all we have met and all of our experiences. We choose to live every day with purpose. We choose not to waste the time we have on this earth. Much of life is about attitude and choice. I want to feel it… all of it. The good and the bad, the happy and the sad, even the things that make me mad. Happiness I have found here. I’ve learned to love again, and live again.

I visited your grave today. It’s been a while, I’m sorry for that. I’ll try not to wait so long to check in. In my heart I carry you with me and you can rest peacefully knowing its all okay here.

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