#understanding

COMFORTABLE SHOES

On my walk the other day once again in the early morn

I realized the shoes I’m wearing are the only shoes I’ve ever worn.

 

I’ve never walked in a Native American’s shoes…never felt the back of America’s hand

as the ones who came here after me threw me off my land.

 

I have never worn the shoes of an immigrant…never felt their sorrow or their strife

having to leave a country they love…to search for a better life.

 

I’ve never walked in a black person’s shoes…never worried in my daily nine to five…

never wondered as I started my day….if I would make it home alive.…

 

I have never walked in a woman’s shoes…I’ve never been downcast

at being paid less for doing the same job as a man…

I’ve never been sexually assaulted or harassed.

 

I’ve never walked in a poor person’s shoes 

never braved the winter cold or summer heat

without a house to call my own…without enough food to eat.

 

I’ve never walked in a gay or lesbian’s shoes…never felt societies shove

just because they see me as different…just because of who I love.

 

I’ve never walked in a Muslim’s shoes…never thought I would see the day

people wanted me out of this country…just because of the way I pray.

 

I never walked in a policeman’s or a soldier’s shoes

Never felt their fear, their pain, their strife…

I’ve never had anyone shoot at me

never feared for my well being or life

 

Yes, my shoes have been quite comfortable…every shoe I’ve ever bought

but that doesn’t mean I don’t listen to the voices of the people whose shoes are not.

 

So I will use my vote…I will raise my voice

I will stand behind…or in a protest line

working and praying for the day everyone’s shoes

are as comfortable as mine.

 
 
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The Seed

Folder: 
2020

The Seed

04/23/2020

 

Dwelling in the past I see,

All doors are locked into the future,

North,

South,

East,

West.

 

I open each and I see,

A dead end to no man land.

 

Banging on each door in frustration,

Slamming each in disappointment.

 

I look up to see,

Another door to meet.

 

I jump, I cannot,

I climb wall and slip.

 

I step on the knobs only to fall,

But I look up and see a plaque.

 

The plaque reads,

“Only the brave, the smart, the bold shall open.”

But I try and I get no luck.

 

I tie my belt to reach,

Only to fall behind me.

 

I throw my shoe in hopes to break,

But all it does it bounces off and hits the light.

 

I reread the plaque, but it reads another note,

“Knock knock and you shall seek,

Only the those who can will”.

 

Puzzle I feel,

Questionable, I think.

But at the end, I think on who am I.

 

I throw my shoe knocking each time,

But the door does not open,

As the door starts to spin.

 

I question if the door is spinning,

Or if I am spinning.

Walls start to spin,

All doors start to spin,

Entire room starts to spin.

 

I stop,

I pause,

I hold arms against the walls,

I take a deep breath,

I start to think.

 

I start questioning the plaque to read,

I study,

I observe,

I rethink,

I stop.

 

I read the plaques,

I notice a reflection,

I look at the wall to see,

A mirror appears,

I see my own reflection,

And I wonder…

 

Who am I?

Why am I here?

What do I want?

Where shall I lead?

What will I find?

 

I think all questions to seek,

But what do I seek?

Knowledge?

Understanding?

Puzzles?

 

I see blank,

I see space,

I see emptiness,

I see nothing.

 

So, I seek again the same questions:

Who am I?

Why am I here?

What do I want?

Where shall I lead?

What will I find?

 

I start getting frustrated with the questions,

Anger,

Upset,

Distance.

 

I start punching,

Knuckles start to bleed,

Scrapes start to appear,

More anger starts,

Frustration,

Chaos,

Anger,

Craziness,

Walls start to spin.

 

Faster,

Faster,

Faster…

 

I fall to the floor,

I cry,

I lay,

I curl.

 

Anger,

Depression,

Sadness,

Craziness,

Frustration.

 

Walls stop spinning.

I look at my knuckles,

All beaten up,

Bleeding,

Shirt all bloody,

Pants all scraped up.

 

I look at my reflection in the mirror,

Tears run down my face,

Eyes bloodshot from water,

Great sorrow,

Anger.

 

Angry that I cannot,

Angry that I do not have answers,

Angry at all the questions,

Angry at myself,

Angry on who I have become,

Angry on why.

 

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why?

 

Why is this?

What is this?

Who is this?

Where is this?

When is this?

How is this?

 

I try to answer each,

All I come back with is,

“Now”

 

Not yesterday,

Not the past,

Not today,

But Now.

Not even tomorrow.

 

Past leads to failure,

Yesterday leads to depression,

Future leads to desperation,

Tomorrow leads to weakness.

 

Today leads to uneven,

Now leads to the question.

 

But what is the Question?

What is the “right” Question.

 

Is it the wrong question?

Is it the right question?

Will the question be the question?

Or will the question be the answer?

Perhaps the answer IS the question.

 

But will the question ever be asked the question,

So, if the question is the question,

Will the answer be the answer?

 

I press my hands together,

Place one on the floor,

I start to get up,

Fisting to the ground.

 

I push up!

I sit up!

I stand up!

 

I clean my hands,

I clean my face,

I clean my pants.

 

I got this!

But who got me?

My family?

My friends?

My buddies?

My coworkers?

 

No! They do not!

I got myself!

 

I am strong!

I am wealth!

I am heart!

I am Me!

 

I raise my arm to the sky…

I repeat the above…

 

I am strong!

I am wealth!

I am heart!

I am Me!

 

Nothing again…

 

I start begging,

I am strong!

I am wealth!

I am heart!

I am Me!

 

Still nothing…

 

Again,

I am strong!

I am wealth!

I am heart!

I am Me!

 

As I scream louder!

 

Nothing again…

 

I then see something shining behind the mirror,

I see a heart,

I see not gold,

I see not silver,

I see not ruby,

I see…

I see it pumping!

 

I feel myself, and I feel nothing,

No pulse,

No beat,

No rate.

 

Just emptiness.

 

I hold the heart,

I feel air,

I feel soft,

I feel a pump.

 

I place it near my chest and again I say,

 

I am strong!

I am wealth!

I am heart!

I am Me!

 

And still nothing…

 

Then decided to go a different twist and say,

 

I am strong!

I am smart!

I am heart!

I am Me!

 

Tingling the door shakes and again I say,

 

I am strong!

I am smart!

I am heart!

I am Me!

 

Walls start to shake and I go louder,

 

I AM STRONG!

I AM SMART!

I AM HEART!

I AM ME!

 

I repeat after repeat until I see a hole.

Walls start to shake,

Doors start to wall,

Mirror falls and breaks,

 

I step back and in fear,

In fear of seven years,

Seven years of bad luck!

 

I fall onto my knees in failure,

I tear,

A tear falls and a sprout burst,

 

Sprout starts to grow,

Taller,

Thicker,

Stronger,

Expanding,

Greener.

 

Sprout becomes,

Bush becomes,

Small tree becomes,

Large tree becomes.

 

Expands,

Breaks,

Destroys,

Demolishes.

 

Doors break apart.

North gone,

South gone,

East gone,

West gone.

 

But only one door remains!

 

Door on to starts to break apart,

Steps appear,

Roots burst out,

Pushing me above!

 

Pushing the door to the sky,

Breaking the door in the path!

Repeating myself,

I can do this!

I can try!

I know!

I am!

 

Pushes stronger to seek,

To seek the now,

Not the past,

Not the yesterday,

Not the future,

But yes, to now!

 

Forcing myself out the room to seek a new adventure!

Sun shining in my eyes!

Fresh air!

Birds chirping!

But still in disappointment.

 

Plant starts to shrink!

Sending me back into the room.

Wanting to deny who I am.

Not wanting on who to become.

 

Walls start to go up,

Mirror starts to break even more,

Darkness becomes.

 

Denial on who I am,

Not worth accepting,

In fear of hope!

 

Fear of loss,

Fear of denial,

Fear of rejection,

Fear of falling apart,

Fear of losing everything on what I gained.

 

Accepting who I am,

It is not easy,

But I must!

I must accept for who I am.

I must accept who to be.

I must accept Me.

 

I am a son,

I am a brother,

I am a cousin/nephew,

I am a friend,

I am a coworker,

I am for who I am,

I am me.

 

I am not a star,

I am not an athlete,

I am not perfect,

I am not excellent,

I am not great!

 

We have flaws,

We fail,

We are not perfect,

We make mistakes,

 

We are we,

We are who we want to be,

We are who we shall be,

We are who we will be,

We are who we were.

 

We are people,

Citizens,

Family,

Humans.

 

We are loved,

We are cherished,

We are acknowledged,

We are the world!

 

I stand,

I raise my fist,

I repeat again…

 

I am strong!

I am smart!

I am heart!

I am Me!

 

And even louder!

 

I am strong!

I am smart!

I am heart!

I am Me!

With great joy I say once more…

 

I am strong!

I am smart!

I am heart!

I am Me!

 

I raise my fist into the air,

Tree starts to grow,

Roots start to fix,

Roots repair,

Tree flourishes,

Breaks the room apart!

 

Standing tall with an almighty again,

 

I am strong!

I am smart!

I am heart!

I am Me!

 

Tree starts to blossom,

Tree becomes a forest.

Tree becomes the World!

 

The tree is me!

I was never the human,

I was never in the room.

I was always the seed.

 

The seed to success,

The seed to life,

The seed to immortality,

The seed to happiness,

The seed to the end of the end.

 

The seed that will unite us,

The seed that will bring love,

The seed that will heal us.

The seed to Alpha and perhaps the Omega.

 

The seed to the end of time!

 

I am who I am,

I am what I am,

I am where I am,

I am when I am,

I am why I am,

I am how I am.

 

I am me,

I am full of energy,

I am grateful to life,

I am my team,

I am my family,

I am my liberty,

I am my own self.

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SO HIGH A PRICE

She never asked to be molested

nor could she have conceived

that when she told her story

she would not be believed.

 

That when she told her story

she would pay so high a price.

for when people don’t believe her 

 

she has been molested twice.


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A LITTLE BIT TOO LATE

He did not understand his daughter…he had not intended to be cruel

It’s just…when she told him she was gay…well…

He was from a different time…a different school.   

 

He prayed to his God, he attended church…he even sang their hymns…

But he still could not wrap his head around what she was telling him.

 

His first reaction was anger…he said things she couldn’t forget…

Nasty, hurtful, unkind things…he later would regret.

 

You see all his daughter wanted was his love…

a love that he denied

and in her grief and sorrow…she committed suicide.

 

It was only after she was gone…when his heart began to break

that he realized he had been wrong…that he’d made a huge mistake.

 

That his daughter was his daughter…wether straight or bi or gay

and he should have showed her that he loved her each and every day.

 

Ye,s he realized her life was special…the life he helped create…

He realized she was wonderful the way she was…

just a little bit too late.

 

Now he tells the world their story…hoping love will conquer hate….

Hoping other parents hear his cries…and for them...it’s not too late.

 

And I wonder…in a world that’s filled with anger…with bigotry and hate…

 

How many need to learn this lesson…before it is too late?


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THE SIMPLEST GESTURE

The new girl entered the classroom…

and though the students were informed

They could not help but stare at her…

her features were deformed.

 

Teacher gave her a big hug…

Come, let me show you to your seat.

“Class, this beautiful girls standing next to me

“I’d like you all to meet.”

 

“This is our new student Sally.” Teacher said, 

as she led her down the aisle

and as Sally sat behind her desk…

she saw the other students smile.

 

Every classmate was smiling at her…

even those sitting in the back

Sally could not help herself…

she had to smile back.

 

Sally came up to teacher at the end of the day

“Thank you.” she said, “for not putting me on the spot.”

“For making me feel beautiful…

even though you know I’m not.”

 

“I saw your beauty when you entered my room.” Teacher said.

“Oh don’t look so surprised!”

“I knew that you were beautiful

when I looked into your eyes.”

 

“None of us are perfect.”……teacher smiled

“So don’t ever be misled

because you don’t have to be perfect…

to be beautiful.” she said.

 

That simple lesson long ago

has taken Sally far…

and she begins each day by telling her students

just how beautiful they are.

 

For she understands her students come to her

with their own struggles…their own strife

and how sometimes the simplest gesture 

can change a person’s life.

 

 

 

 

 
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THINGS TO UNDERSTAND

He cannot see a rainbow…for his world is painted black.

He cannot see the sunshine…though he can feel it on his back.

 

She cannot hear her mother’s voice…they do their talking with their hands.

She cannot hear the music play…and we struggle to understand…

 

How this is even possible?

How did this come to be?

And what life must be like…for those so different than we.

 

So we attempt to comprehend without making too much of a fuss

And we try to share our world with them as they share their world with us.

 

And though we’ll never truly understand what being them is like…

we begin to realize, despite our differences,…we are so much more alike.

 

And she helps us understand her language and and we help him understand the sun

and we think: if this is true for us…shouldn’t it be true for everyone?

 

What if the things that make us different…instead of being feared or being banned…

What if the things that make us different…

 

are just different things to understand?

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Who Are We Too Judge

 

Two people sitting in the park…for a moment their lives are linking..

Let’s take a listen inside their heads…and see what each is thinking.

 

She dresses in clothes that are different from mine.

She comes from another land.

She worships a different God than me.

She speaks a language I don’t understand.

 

I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel.

I’m not sure what to do.

Because a small portion of the people I know hate her

and I’m told to hate her too.

 

 

If they would only talk to one another…they’d have a lot to say

They both believe in a God (though different ones), in a holy book and a judgement day.

 

They both believe in prophets, in angels and honesty…

in forgiveness, patience, truthfulness…in goodness and humility.

 

They believe in being kind to others…in unselfishness and sincerity…

in courage, in moderation, and above all…in family

 

If they had talked to one another…if this information they had sought…

perhaps they would have realized…they have more in common than they thought.

 

When we prejudge a person.  When we are too quick to dismiss...

How quickly our initial prejudgement…turns into prejudice.

 

When we denounce another person.

When we have presumed...then condescended...

I have to ask no matter what religion you practice

 

Is this what your God intended?

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