support

Tonight

Tonight I cry – no, weep for you.
Tonight my soul hurts through and through
as I mourn the loss of what you never had, never were, never could be.
What you were robbed of, deprived of, what should have been so easy.
I’ve watched, I’ve listened, I’ve sat patiently by
while I struggled to understand, learn the reasons why
you find yourself so tough, strong, cold.
Why there is an impenetrable shield you hold
onto so tightly – clenched in your fists
that not even with the most fervent of wish
can I get you to lower enough to see
that what has been is not what always must be.

Tonight I sob – let the tears run down
my face, to the floor, across the street, through the town
as I think back and imagine all the things you went through
back in the time long before I met you.
When you were a young boy – innocent, sweet –
on a hot summer day, looking for a treat
from the ice cream truck, maybe a trip to the pool
something to beat the heat and stay cool.
To many you were just a boy outside to play,
but how could they not see the darkness that lay
just beneath the surface of your skin?
The secrets that you held within
of all your struggles, your pain, your fears?
How could they NOT see your tears?
You were a child, how could they not know?
There must have been signs that you had to show.
How could they ignore what must have been clear?
How could you hide it year after year?

Tonight I have anger – a foreign feeling for me
as I was raised where happiness always ran free
as a bird sailing through the cerulean sky
and fury was a fictional thing – even a lie.
But this rage that I am consumed with is very much real
as I think about a young man who was dealt a raw deal.
A teenager who needed wisdom and guidance
but instead found himself trying to avoid violence
from a place where harm should never be found.
A locale that should have been hallowed ground –
a place of sanctity, where he could always feel safe.
A destination to always return to...home base.
But what should have been your life’s strongest shield
was more of a dagger someone chose to wield
against you instead of raising it in your defense.
Why did you have to keep up the pretense
that everything was just fine and alright?
Why couldn’t there be someone to fight
on your side when you couldn’t fight anymore?
And why were you so alone in this war?

Tonight I wail in the pit of my heart
when I think about how we were worlds apart
in our life experiences, while physically so close.
Why was I born on a bed as soft as a rose
while you, my love, were left with the thorns?
What determines the lot to which we are born?
I was given every advantage, support and most of all love.
You were destined to face trials, tribulations and even a shove
out of the nest. The security, of a mother’s warm embrace
was denied you. You lived in a dark desolate place
where you were forced to endure trials befitting a man
at such a young age – I do not know if I can
even imagine how you made it through –
how you survived, prospered, became remarkable You.

Yet tonight, I see hope. I see a light in the end.
I’m not quite sure how it can be, my dear friend,
that one man can bear all the pains you have borne
and be so amazing – how you weathered the storm
and came out unscathed to the naked eye,
though I see the scars you so carefully hide
as you move forward becoming the best you can be:
a proud father, a real gentleman, a true friend to me.
I know that you bent, much further than most
yet you never broke…never gave up the ghost
to those who tried so hard to destroy your spirit.
You kept your head high and said to those who could hear it
“I am a man – at times an enigma to you
but to those I allow in my life I am true.
To those who have tried to beat me back
understand all you did is show how you lack
any sort of character, morals or strength.
You taught me I could go to incredible lengths
to achieve the amazing things I am destined to do.
And I will reach them all in spite of those like you.”

Tonight I look upon your face with pride.
I realize that though a part of your childhood died
a premature death, having never reached maturity,
without all your pain, the man you were destined to be
could not have come to fruition so well.
You would not be the very man who I fell
for so hard, so completely, so profoundly, so deep.
And now as I lay here and watch you quietly sleep
I realize there is absolutely nothing I would not do
to ensure your dark days are long gone, over, through.
I think perhaps you are my destiny
for you’ve never had a protector quite like me.
One who revels in the brightness of life
who can bask in its radiance having lived without strife.
A woman who protects those she cherishes most;
whose sunshiney disposition makes her the paramount host
to those she chooses to gather in an embrace
of warmth and smiles – who makes them feel safe.
I want nothing more than to share with you my light.
To show you uncompromising joy day and night.
If you trust me enough to be held in my heart
I know this is the beginning of a wonderful part
of your life you never dreamed could come true.
It’s the part where a woman unconditionally loves you.

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Scared

Folder: 
My Love

I love you...
And I don't know what to say to you
I'm scared
I don't know what you think of me
I'm afraid of putting myself out there
To be rejected again
I may be Superman on the outside
But inside?
I'm afraid of letting you down
Of not being there for you
Of not being enough for you
Of leaving you to fight your own battles
I know you're capable
But I love fighting them with you
Of supporting you
Of loving you
And I don't know...
Maybe I feel inadequate
Like you're worth so much more than I am
I think you are
I've messed up so many times before
I don't know how to act around you
But until you tell me
I'll continue to be brave
I won't be afraid of fighting for you
I think you're worth it
I'll step out
Take a leap of faith
Because I don't want to lose you
To lose my greatest treasure and my best friend
To the unknown.
I hope you know this already
But if not here it is:
Honestly and truly,
I Love You.

My Heart Stops

Folder: 
Sad/emotional

I have had a dark past,
With so many things I never told you,
I couldn't tell you...
I told you many things though,
I was afraid,
I wanted to cry.
Every time I told you something,
I didn't know what you were thinking,
Tears  began to fall,
My heart rate seemed to pick up,
Anxiety seemed to take control,
Its foot on the gas,
And I just couldn't stop,
I worried,
I cried,
I wanted to scream,
I wanted to hear someone say,
"It'll be ok",
No one did,
You understand now?
I can't trust,
Not yet at least,
You said I could for you,
I promise to try,
I can feel anxiety still pushing,
Pushing me forward,
But what happens when I run out of fuel,
Out of energy,
Is it true?
My heart will stop?

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written for a special someone who I hope will read this... ✋

View bloodbutterfly's Full Portfolio

Hope for Dunblane [Book Collection]

Hope for Dunblane  

 

 

In evergreen memory of our beloved 
children of Dunblane Primary School,

Scotland: United Kingdom! 

 

 

Ugonna Wachuku 

 

(c) March 1996   

 

__ 

 

Contents  

 

__ 

 

 

Dedication  

 

Prologue  

 

Part One:   

 

D:

 

Victoria:  at dawn   

 

Emma:  innocent face   

 

U:

 

Melissa:  bells toll   

 

Charlotte:  harmless smiles

 

N:

 

Kevin:  You walked our streets   

 

Ross:  to the brilliant gardens

 

B:

 

David:  tell it on the mountain?   

 

Mhairi:  evening walk without you

 

Part Two:  

 

L:

 

Brett:  sweet, little love   

 

Abigail:  on the green earth

 

A:

 

Emily:  in search of you   

 

Sophie:   I remember you

 

N:

 

John:  your soiled napkin   

 

Joanna:  in my tears

 

E:

 

Hannah:  child of peaceful Dunblane  


Megan:  my memories of you  

 

Part Three:

 

Smiles and hope

 

What monstrous hatred?

 

Epilogue

 

The Author

 

__  



Dedication  


__ 


In unfailing memory of

our 16, 5 years old kids

murdered by Thomas Hamilton

at Dunblane Primary School

Scotland on wednesday 13

March, 1996;

 

an eternal tribute to their

noble teacher who was shot

defending the children;

a message of hope and love

to mourning parents and families;

 

a loving homage of caring

love to the 12 kids and 2

teachers wounded;

to all humankind who have

learnt from, and dared to

be wounded by the bloody

tears of Dunblane!!!

 

__ 

 

Prologue

 

__ 

 

 

"Blessed are they that mourn;

for they shall be comforted."

 

~Mattthew 5: 4

 

"Blessed be God, even the Father

of our Lord Jesus Christ, the

Father of all mercies and the

God of all comfort:

Who comforts us in all our

tribulation, that we may be

able to comfort them which

are in any trouble, by the

comfort wherewith we

ourselves are comforted

of God."  

 

~2 Corinthians 1: 3-4   

 

 

The shock stills! The coldness dumbs! The reality

blatantly unfathomable! The tragic truth of humanity's

age old bizarreness sneaked in on the historic small town

of Dunblane, Scotland, on wednesday 13 March 1996, when

a lone gunman made his way into Dunblane Primary School

and in stacatto bursts of gun fire murdered 16 five year

old kids and their teacher. 12 other kids and 2 teachers

were wounded.   

 

 

When the reality of this news dawned on me, my world

stood breathless. For fleeting seconds, I thought I

was gonna wake up from my dream and see that it was not

true. But then, I fainttingly realized that I was rather

dreaming with my eyes wide open! The evergreen garden

of the blooming respect and love I have for children

all over the world had been deeply stained by the

cold blood of humankind's death-weapon. White walls

of my yearning for a better world for our earth's children,

our tomorrow's people, crumbled into streams of tears

and blinding sorrow as death quaked its loving grounds

with a gun-man's hand. Tears rolled down my face in dry

shriek. It was, in its own manner, yet another monstrous

atrocity, blatantly unique, in mankind's march through

this troubled world.  

 

 

Remembering that two months from the 13 of March, it

would be the United Nations declared International Day

of Families - 15 May, 1996, I bitterly wept for Dunblane.

I cried for humanity!   

 

 

Then, in my deep-felt sorrow, I realized that 1995-2005

is the United Nations decade for human rights education.

The question of what rights the child has to life, liberty

and security haunted my weary being. This brought me to

the brink of accepting that in many ways, humankind have

failed our children, our hope for the nations, our future!    

 

 

This book is as a result of my soulful tears and contrite heart.

This is my loving and healing hope for Dunblane because

violence to children anywhere is violence to me personally!   

 

 

Ugonna Wachuku

Wednesday 27 March, 1996 

Loex: Bernex Commune 

Geneva, Switzerland 

 

__    


Part one:   


__    



"If I can help somebody

as I pass along, if I

can cheer somebody with

a word or song...then,

my living will not be

in vain."   

 

~Martin Luther King, Jr.     



D:   


at dawn:   


Victoria Clydesdale:    



at dawn, clouds began

to gather over your

little, sleepy town -

these clouds of death

defied those streams

of peace in you:   

 

They overlooked the

beauty of your innocent

smiles.    

 

The forgot the warmness

of your innocence.

These clouds of death

did not bother to see

the unspeakable love

in your eyes.   

 

Latter that morning,

these clouds brought

in more thicks of

darkness; waiting to

bring the healthy

light you've always

known to an end.   

 

You never knew!   

 

Afterwards, the rains

came from these dark

clouds.   

 

But these rains were

not form heaven's nature.

They came from one of

us - a gun man who defied

families and humanity -

a gunman who believed

you had no right to

live and be educated.   

 

His bullets cut you

down. Yet, we refuse

to see you die.

We refuse to end

the sweet smiles you

gave; even in our

battered memories.   

 

You left home with

hope and love for

a better day. But

valiant Vicky, your

day ended in tears.

Our world stood still. 

 

Our breath fizzled out;

while earth's streams

flowed without life.   

 

Our wretched world

ended with your death.

Our tears continue even

with blue clouds and

the rainy rainbow.    

 

Now, we dream of your

loving laughter.

We dream of your calm

screams through the

welcoming day.    

 

Ehen finally, we wake

up, we shall still dream

of you, Victoria because

those smiles in your

eyes will linger

forever

while

our

dreams

of

you

trails

our

left

d

a

y

s
.

.

.

.

.

.



Innocent Face:

 

Emma Crozier:    

 

Your innocent face

shown around the

world stopped us

on the road to life.   

 

Your endless twinkle

snuffed out stars

in our skies and

brought daylight.   

 

Yet you were cut

down before you

could ask why?   

 

Beloved Emma, you

were hot to death

even in the peaceful

state of your simple

soul so calm and

trusting.   

 

Nobody seemed to care.

Humanity left you in

your innocence and

love.   

 

And death could not

wait to take you

away from us, Emma!

Death walked your

trusting path and

mine unknown.   

 

We refuse to accept

that death can take

you away. We affirm

that God will dry

your tears and ours.   

 

Yet our tears flow

because now we deeply

understand that you

were our sweet, little

girl of love and hope.   

 

The earth, with me,

weeps for you, emerald

Emma. Heaven bleeds

tormenting tearful

torrents because you

were our love, our

reason forc being.   

 

Beloved Emma, you

were our future.

But death did not

bother to respect

the hope and love

you symbolized for

or empty world.   

 

That gun of death

tracked you down

and in your own

blooming blood,

you gave up the

hope and bountiful

love within your

beautiful soul.   

 

How I shudder to think

about towering tears

so silent in your

dying breath and mine.   

 

Your utter disbelieve

at what was happening

to you and your class-

mates.   

 

What soul do I have

to stand your pleading,

searching eyes?   

 

What mortal strength

do I have to bear this

shattering burden?   

 

Who would answer your

prying questions for

humanity, Emma?   

 

Your innocent face

will linger forever.

Your smiles.

Your enchanting,

little laughter!   

 

Emma, just remember,

you are my hero.

You were our love.

Now, you are

God's

caring

A

n

g

e

l

__ 

 

 

U:   

 

bells toll:

 

Melissa Currie:   



Now, the bells toll for

you. The bells toll to

welcome earth's herald

of your little body,

Melissa!   

 

This is no wedding bell

in the country church

yard. This is no

christening ceremony...  

 

::::::: 

::::::: 

From my long-hand collection: 

Hope for Dunblane

Ugonna Wachuku  

(c) March 1996 

Geneva: Switzerland 

 

Blue Waterfalls

Ugonna Wachuku 

 

Slowly, whistling winds and waves
embrace my soul on this voyage to
new reality. 

 

Like a river, I follow my course
through beckoning landscapes and 
simple seas.

 

Through moonlit forests of home
and beauty, I walk to the beat
from nature's heart.
There is silence in the air.
There is a song in my heart.
There is unfolding desire to
be all that I must be to you
and to humanity.

 

Down river roads and pathways,
I follow your footprints to
mountain tops where bald eagles
teach eaglets the mystery of
calmly soaring through life.

 

From high grounds and moving
landscapes on peaceful sea shores
hidden within you, the story unfolds.
From mountain tops of glory and 
beauty, you call me to fish and
dine with caring angels. 
There will be yet
another voyage.

 

When, finally, we arrive at those  
headwaters, there will be blue 
waterfalls and glad dolphins to 
welcome you and me.

 

These blue waterfalls will be 
our compass for the journey
ahead. Smiles and songs will
flower us to bountiful life.
Waterfalls of blue will define
our love for humanity!

 

And when I meet the coming,
new morning of hope and inspiration,
I will shed tears because your loving
blue waterfalls will be
my caring companion
for life!

_

  

Blue Waterfalls 

~ Critiques/Comments ~ 

 

Abritelite .

wishdesigns@optushome.com.au

Your BlueWaterfalls took me on a journey that I really enjoyed.  Keep them coming in :) abritelite 

http://www.postpoems.com/members/abritelite  

 

Renee' Quinn

qrenee@att.net

welcome home..... you have found a place that your work will be loved and amired....  this one just made me feel like I was floating along on a raft....  you have such an amazing and powerful style.....  once again... I welcome you home.... and hope that you stay with us a while..  Renee' 

http://www.postpoems.com/members/hawksquaw99

 

Farah D

farah@overseas.co.uk

another lovely piece. Beautiful and calming images takes you on a beautiful journey. The kind of poem that i could read over and over again. 

http://www.postpoems.com/members/destiny

 

Melvin Lee

shimmmering@yahoo.com

A wonderful sense of peacefulness in this poem, Ugonna..Smilesz. Thanxs for painting such a unique and mesmerizing journey for the mind of every reader. Glad to have read it.  interesting title too. :)  

http://www.postpoems.com/members/mel

 

Mona Omar

monao3@yahoo.com

blue waterfalls is a lovely poem full of beauty 

http://www.postpoems.com/members/mona  

  

Charisma *T.A.* Makatita-P

charisma@freehomepage.com

Thank you for this wonderful journey.....enjoyed every line.  Charisma 

http://www.postpoems.com/members/charisma 

 

Angel Wolf

simply-poetic@webtv.net

Mesmerizing beauty is the essence of this poem!! You create a lovely feeling with this "most perfect" poem.  Angelwolf 

http://www.postpoems.com/members/Angelwolf 

  

Teresa Jacobs

truffels-37211@yahoo.com

Such a beautiful poem. You always know how to weave your words to create such magical places. 

http://www.postpoems.com/members/Angelwolf

 

Robin Schmidt

kaos444_99@hotmail.com

This paints such a picture in my head, I can picture everything the mountins the rivers.. everything its amazing!!I love it!!

http://PostPoems.com/members/starlite_angel

2002-02-01 15:09:59

 

Betty Hattersley

silverlining7@talk21.com

Wow...what a poem

http://PostPoems.com/members/silverlining7

2002-02-25 17:04:38

 

Lesa Gay

lesajg@aol.com

I experienced this picture as if I were there.  Thanks for the beauty!  ~Lesa~

http://PostPoems.com/members/lesajg

2002-02-28 14:22:12

 

Douglas Lazard

dougiebgood@hotmail.com

Hi Ugonna,  There is so much peace in this poem... It take the reader down a wonderfully slow and comforting ride through it's life!  I love poetry of water and waterfalls and have written much on this topic myself. I've a feeling I have met a wonderful new friend! 

Peace and love ~~~~ Dougie ~~~

http://PostPoems.com/members/dougie

2002-03-01 11:09:25

 

Tim / manatee Marshall

bigone5gt9vc7@webtv.net

HI,i give this my best teake (widi) wish i'd done it ! 

love what your eyes see and your fingers write  

L&P

http://PostPoems.com/members/bigone

2002-03-17 14:17:30

 

Bernard Shaw

bernard.shaw@chello.at

A most beautiful piece of poetry. I sense the underlying tones of simplicity with a vivid journey to a long lost part of what was once common to all the peoples of this earth. A small touch of paradise. Flows well and tells a story that nature has been telling us for generations. I am very impressed and will be reading more of your works.  I feel that you have a natural talent in telling us what to look for in our daily lives. A piece well away from the humdrums of normality. Thank you for sharing. bern

http://PostPoems.com/members/bern

2002-05-02 10:45:18

 

mona

moca124@hotmail.com

beautiful poem 

2002-08-03 15:24:26

 

Eunice Perkins

cperkinsnz@yahoo.com.au

Such a feeling of serenity and peacefulness makes this wonderful to read.

http://PostPoems.com/members/kiwi

2002-08-07 10:47:05

 

Geneva Becker

toobuena80@hotmail.com

I really enjoyed the voyage.  I love the imagery. 

Thanks also for stopping by on my page. I am a graduate student now, with no time to truly write. I envy you... 

Geneva

http://PostPoems.com/members/toobuena

2002-10-31 02:30:57

 

Patricia Jones

patriciajj@hotmail.com

A heavenly poem. It simply surges with beauty you wish you could live in forever. 

http://poetrypen.com/wingsoflight

2002-11-12 17:53:41

 

Karyn Indursky

pablondie21@aol.com

This poem is absolutely beautiful. You walk me through this journey while making my emotions raw with love, curiously, wonder. I felt as though I was away from today and stepping into a clensing when I let go of dirty thoughts, feelings, notions to be be more than cleansed, but freed. If that wasn't enough you let me have one person to go along with me. I loved to have the allowance of company because it allowed me to share myself and a world to love. Thanks for the wonderful read.

http://PostPoems.com/members/pablondie21

2003-05-02 08:27:41

 

Ruth Lovejoy

rlovejoy4@verizon.net

Your love and respect for nature and an acute eye to the falls for its beauty is very evident here..Great piece!

http://PostPoems.com/members/poetrylady

2008-01-13 15:17:50

 

Theresia A. Makatita-Poortman

email hidden

Once again I walked in to read some of your poetry and I really enjoyed reading them. I enjoyed Blue Waterfalls thouroughly, keep up the good writing.  

Theresia  

http://PostPoems.com/members/charisma  

2008-04-04 06:54:53 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Blue Waterfalls explores every humane upliftment in loving and caring for one another and our precious planet in our challenging earthly journey through life.

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