#sexual assault #friend #betrayal



You said you were my friend

i believed you, trusted you

we were hanging out

talking shit, having a laugh

thought everything was okay

i told you my fears

i told you in confidence

i didnt want to be seen as

a wimp

a coward


i asked for a smoke

thats when you made it



you used my fear, fear of guns

against me

for your pleasure

you got what you wanted

i felt sick, dirty


i couldn't sleep at night

i would cry and cry

i knew i hurt some people

even the ones i cared about

the most

even though it wasn't a real gun

just a fully loaded,

live, with a CO2 tank

paintball gun


none of my friends believed

what he did was wrong

thought i was a liar

trying to "tarnish" his name'

the only one who believed me'

was my mother

Mama Bear came out

full force

this showed who truly cared

Is this how a friend should act?

Is this what a friend would do?

Author's Notes/Comments: 

this is based on my sexual assult when i was 17 that took place outside my own home. writing free verse helps me cope an deal with these memories, flashbacks, and emotions/feelings