#newbie #feedback

Using for my needs

Been using others forever 

Without anyone knowing 

Not for money or material shit

Not for  sex , cigarettes , or alcohol 

More like how an addicted uses drugs  

To keep a high 

Keep a smile 

 Live normal 

Feel important 

Wanted - useful

Feel like a man 

Strong 

Dependable 

I Used but  I needed so I wasn't alone 

For Loneliness was my withdraw 

Forced to face what I tried to avoid 

Force to feel pain I used as jokes 

For Loneliness brings tears quick 

Reality fast and it don't hold back 

It's facts I hate 

To a life I want to love without question 

It's full of questions about things I took for granted and can't remember 

From childhood friends 

To the girl I lost my virginty  too

ones I cheated on 

To where things go on my timeline 

But it holds answers as well

Answers that are hard to accept

The right ones instead of my own 

That I made up to get by 

To feel  like a decent human 

Some answers for questions I forgot 

Most come with ah image 

Some partial 

Some fuzzy 

Some so clear I see the tears running down her cheeks 

 

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