When our family gets together, like most families I assume
There are two words when spoken that can light up any room.
Whether emanating from a chair, around a table or by the kitchen sink
these two simple words when paired together have more power than you think.
For these two word when spoken awaken a shared memory
and instantly remind us what it is to be a family.
These two words evoke our laughter, our wonderment…our tears
of moments we once shared together that have melted into years…
Allowing us to revisit together…a mutual memoir
to remember who we were back then…that made us who we are
Oh how we laugh or cry or smile…
when these two words are spoken every now and then
Oh how our memories are stirred
and our hearts are filled
when we hear the words…
Remember when…
The other day while rummaging in a closet I was instantly overcome with joy
when I ran across our storage bins filled with our children’s once used toys.
Toys our children and grandchildren played with when they were young and new…
Toys that don’t grow up…like children and grandchildren do
A set of nesting cups for the bathtub, noise makers and little bouncing balls
plastic telephones where every child made imaginary calls.
Toys that at one time were their favorites…
toys they once adored.
Toys that served their purpose
but don’t get played with anymore.
A bunch of bendy action figures…which much to our elation
our children and grandchildren used…
to fuel their imaginations.
Those thick little baby books, a stuffed doggie, soft and brown
wooden blocks with painted letters they'd stack up…
then knock down.
As I picked up a plastic microphone and a bunch of different tiny cars
I thought how every toy inside these bins are part of who they are.
Because each of these toys was special once…
because each had their own heyday
there’s no way we could ever throw them out…
no way we'll ever give them away.
So they live in quiet comfort…
who knows…
we may live to see the day
when great great grandchildren come to visit…
who will no doubt want to play.
“Hey I remember playing with this when I was your age!”
We imagine their parents will say
and we’ll sit back and we'll smile
as we watch a new generation at play…
I imagine there are toys like these
in closets all across the USA…
quietly resting in bins of their own…
patiently awaiting that day.n…
patiently waiting for that day.
When our grandma died as a family we were heartbroken, confused…and sad
to understand how to act…we looked to our mom and dad.
It’s never easy to say goodbye…so many feelings get in the way
We search through our emotions for soothing words to say.
Mom and Dad said Grandma was important to all of us…
how we all loved her smile, her warmth her glow…
They told us the fact we shared so much love with her…
is what makes her death hurt so…
It’s all the wonderful memories we made with her they said
that’s makes her death unfair….
all the good times we had leave us saddened
for all the good times we’ll no longer share…
The places we’ll never visit with her…the happiness she’ll no longer bring
The cookies she’ll no longer bake…the songs she’ll no longer sing…
Then Emma, the oldest daughter, said, we will miss her I’m sure this is true
but won’t Grandma, once she gets up to heaven…won’t she be missing us too?
This is when Mom and Dad got an idea…they ran to the kitchen, opened a drawer
when they returned they set it in front of us…what would become known as Grandma’s jar.
They handed us some paper and pencils and said, “Write down what Grandma meant to you.”
We’ll put all your writings in this jar…so Grandma can remember them too.
“But how will she read it from heaven?” Emma asked.
Dad said, “Emma, at the end of the day
your grandma is pretty resourceful…
I’m sure she will find a way”.
“And we will leave this jar unopened,” Mom said,
“so whenever something happens you’d like to share
just drop a note into the jar…Grandma will take if from there.”
And we wrote notes to Grandma from that moment on
until the time came we were all grown
At that point as we left our house we were given a jar of our own…
I like to think Grandma is always watching…
but if she’s too busy up there among the stars…
If she wants to know what I’ve been up too…
all she has to do is look in her jar.
I love that we have memories
Even though as the years pass we may begin to doubt them
I cannot imagine…I cannot fathom…
what life would be without them.
On the river of life…when times are difficult…
or when we float along with ease
wherever the current takes us…
we keep adding memories.
And if life is like a river always moving ever forward without a break
I like to think of memories as a calm and peaceful lake…
A lake that no matter how many memories we add will never over fill
A quiet, tranquil place where time itself stands still.
Where we can choose to pause a while…
on the edge where the water meets the land
to get our feet wet for a moment and scoop a memory in our hands…
Or if we want…if we have the inclination…to wade up to our knees
or dive headfirst under the water and be awash in memories.
I love to swim the entire lake…it’s waters cool and clear
because I never know what memories will suddenly appear…
I don’t mind that the good and bad memories have mixed together along the way
because they have intermingled to make me who I am today.
I find I like to talk to my memories…to thank them when they were bright…
and even though the time has passed…to warn them…in hindsight…
Oh, I know that moment’s gone and I can never change that memory
which makes me wonder:
if I am talking to my memory…or is my memory talking to me?
Yes, I love that I have memories
Even though as the years pass I may begin to doubt them
for I cannot imagine…
I cannot fathom…
what my life would be without them.
We are dog/house sitting for friends of ours while they are on a cruise
I’ve heard it said you don’t really know a person until you walk a mile in their shoes…
I imagine that is true…in their shoes you walk, you run…you roam
but I also think you get to know a person when you spend time in their home.
As I walk from room to room I realize how their house is their memoir
It’s filled with memories…with bits and pieces of who they were…and are.
I begin to notice how pictures of their family can be found in every room.
It’s like I’m in a museum…I stop…I look…then I resume…
I see old people, young people, babies…pictures spanning generations
all contributing to the story of one family’s creation.
I pause at every picture…and as I visit…one by one…
I suddenly realize how many families go into making one.
I see love portrayed in pictures of people I know and some who remain unnamed
captured for eternity inside a picture frame
Perhaps that’s why we have so many pictures…not only for us to easily see
but every time we pass…it awakens a memory.
In every picture I can see joy…a smile on every face
proving quite definitively how happiness fills this place.
I’m sure there’s also been some sadness…some tragedy and fear….
Some people in these pictures I’m sure are gone…but their memories linger here.
And we are happy to be sitting in their house as off to other realms they roam…
Knowing not only do they have a beautiful house…they have a beautiful home.
(P.S. Another reason we’re glad to be in charge as they enjoy their birthday cruise….
They left a bunch of unlocked cabinets…and they’re all filled with booze!)
MEMORIES
Have you ever wondered why we have a memory…the ability to rapidly recall
events that have happened in our life…events significant and small?
Perhaps it is the ability to create and recall memories that make a happy life:
Like spending three days in the cabin with our nephew and his wife
Sitting for hours on our porch bouncing memories off each other…
remembering Deborah’s mom and dad…recalling stories of Rick’s mother.
Eating slices of pie like they were candy…sharing sunsets you can’t put into words
Hours on the porch together….watching hummingbirds.
Showing Rick and Laura a different side of Asheville…one they never knew.
Taking time along the way to stop and enjoy the view.
Walking in and out of stores…in no hurry…no need for speed
Shopping for nothing in particular yet finding everything we need.
Being just as happy eating deep fried deviled eggs at a restaurant…
with the same contentment in our bellies
as sharing sandwiches on the porch for dinner
made with peanut butter mixed with jelly.
Sitting around a campfire with still so much to talk about
sharing more stories and more laughter until the fire burned out.
To continue sitting by the embers as into the darkness we all blend
Holding on a little longer…to a moment we don’t want to end.
Waving as they drive away this morning…but happily aware
that memories of these days together still linger in the air.
Perhaps that’s why we were created with a memory
to have a place within our heart, our soul, our brain
where, after a moment has come and gone,
the memory remains.
So when we need a moment of contentment in the future
all we need do is pause a little while
and take moment to remember
a moment to close our eyes…
and smile.
They grew up close together…sharing laughter…sharing frowns
playing in their backyards…hanging upside-down.
The world was oh so different then, as they hung so effortlessly
It was a simpler, uncomplicated time…more innocent and free.
A time when all that children needed to do was laugh and sing and play
when hanging upside down…unimpeded…they would sway.
For they were making memories…no future memory would surpass
As they hung there…upside down…or ran barefoot in the grass.
And as they look back at this picture now…it’s those memories they see
awakening from a place where they shall always be…
And when thy close their eyes to remember…that certain time…that certain year
sometimes it brings a smile…sometimes it brings a tear
Because they realize how lucky they are
to have shared a life time of laughter
and of frowns…
from a friendship that began so man-years ago
while hanging upside down.
Somebody died today…it’s part of life’s ebb and flow
but what makes this day so different is…this somebody was somebody I know.
She had a full life, my somebody…filled with many highs and some lows…
but Death is unsympathetic…when it comes our time to go.
Yet how lucky we are has humans…
for although in death…of her presence we’re deprived
the myriad of memories we created…in a way keeps her alive…
And that’s where our sadness originates…
That’s why we feel so bereft…
not from all those memories we created together
but that those memories are all I have left.
We know Death has taken her from us…but in Death there is a plus
for Death has left her memories behind…Death can’t take those away from us.
When we want to, when we have the urge…we can visit her a while
Just by closing our eyes and remembering…
her voice,
her eyes…
her smile…
And for a moment in our silence…as more and more memories arrive
it’s as if she never left us…as if she’s still alive
And when our eyes reopen
we smile remembering all the memories we’ve sewn
and we feel blessed
she was a somebody we were lucky enough to have known.
Which gives us all hope for the time when Death comes too our door
as part of life’s ebb and flow
That we, too, will have been lucky enough
to be somebody…somebody knows.
There is an excitement when we get together with family and friends
nothing can compare…
with the joy seen on our faces
with the laughter that fills the air.
One of the things I like most is when we’re all sitting around…and then
someone begins a conversation with the words…’remember when’…
As they show up in a whisper…or enter on a shout
they knock on a door within our heart and invite our memories out.
Because following every ‘remember when’….everyone sitting there
will add their own perspective to a memory we share.
And before you know it ‘remember when’s’ are tossed out like beads in a parade
we raise our hands and catch them as they soar
we smile as we drape them ‘round our necks
and eagerly wait for more.
I suppose we don’t think about it much…
how lucky is the family…who
have made a multitude of memories that they can rummage through…
on an evening when they come together…around a table…in a den
and for a while share some smiles…
and some laughter…
as they remember when…
And when the house is empty…
enveloped in silence once again
we wonder
at what point…
this night…
will become it’s own
‘remember when’.